Black Cats Bring Good Luck

aftermath

When Dirt awoke, Divan and Salem were both in their cat forms, cuddled up next to him, the sun peaking through the drawn curtains. Divan was a medium-sized gray cat. A russian blue. What the fuck. Is that why their hair is blue? What the fuck... Okay, I guess... Dirt pet Salem's head, giving his a little one-handed neck and ear massage. He started purring very loudly as he roused from his slumber. Divan was soon awake as well, and he stood up, arching his back in a big stretch and doing that big cat yawn showing all his teeth.

Divan gracefully hopped over Dirt over to Salem and started grooming him, licking his head, his shoulders, his back.. Salem's fur looked brown where the sunlight touched it, and he just looked soooo cuddly and adorable that Dirt couldn't help but lovingly rub down his whole body. Salem bit him, though, not liking being pet all over like that.

"Hey!" Dirt yelped, yanking his hands away.

"Mrroow!!!" Salem yowled. Divan flopped over on his side and rolled around, showing his belly.

"Ooooh do you like belly rubs, Divan?" Dirt asked as he reached for Divan's enticingly fluffy tummy. Divan purred and nuzzled against Dirt's hand as he rubbed its belly. He reached up and scratched under their chin, and they wrapped their little paws around Dirt's wrist as their purring got louder, and it looked like he was smiling.

"Man... what time is it?" Dirt asked to no one in particular as he sat up and began to search for where he'd left his phone, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He found his phone buried under the pillows, and saw that the time was 7:34AM. "What the fuck... we slept for like... six hours..." Salem hopped onto Dirt's lap and meowed. "What?" Dirt asked in a baby voice, giving Salem little scritches. He nuzzled against their hand, giving their knuckles a couple of small licks. "Awww...."

After fully getting out of bed and finding all of their clothes, Divan took Dirt and Salem down to the lobby for breakfast. Salem went a little crazy with the buffet. He got a little bit of everything they had, carrying three plates across his arms with great skill. It made Dirt incredibly anxious, but he miraculously made it to the table without dropping anything! Dirt was impressed! He just got some scrambly eggs, bacon, and toast for himself.

Divan drove them back to their house and gave both of them a kiss goodbye, before promising to see them again soon as he drove off.

Salem turned to Dirt with a huge grin on his face. "Oh! Em! Gee! That was crazy I can't believe he did all of that for us, can you?!?" he said excitedly as he skipped to the front door.

"Haha yeah that was pretty crazy... Sorry for like, being so resistant to him and stuff before, by the way... I guess I just had to warm up to him.." said Dirt, as he fiddled with his keys.

"Lawl whatever!" Salem shrugged. Dirt opened up the door and let them both inside. Mittens was there, standing in the kitchen in Sarah's college sweatshirt, making herself some toast? "HI!!!" Salem chirped happily, bounding over to her and squeezing her in a hug.

"BAH!!! I have a KNIFE in my hand, you slut!!!!!" Mitt giggled as she hugged him back.

"What are you doing here?" Dirt asked as he moseyed in.

"Ummmmmm well mostly kissing Sarah.... Eating your food, also..." she answered.

"Oh. Wait, what???"

"And cuddling and watching anime. You know."

"Kissing?? Are-are you guys together, now???" Dirt asked frantically.

Mitt shrugged. "I dunno, we just be kissing and stuff," she said, and then licked the knife.

"Oh em gee!! What the fuck you didn't even tell me???" said Salem, offended.

Mittens threw the knife over her shoulder into the sink, making Dirt flinch. "Well it just happened!" she defended, picking up her piece of toast and taking a bite as she left the kitchen and headed back to Sarah's room.

"WAIT A MINUTE!!!" Salem yowled, following Mitt. Dirt followed along as well, a few feet behind Salem. When Mittens opened the door, Salem bulldozed past her and jumped up onto Sarah's bed. "WHAT ANIME HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING WITHOUT ME????" Salem yelled/whined.

"Oh my god!" Sarah yelped in surprise. "Nothing you haven't already seen! We just started Madoka!" she answered.

"But I wanted to see her reaction!!!!!" Salem whined. Mittens pushed him over and sat down next to Sarah. Salem hissed and batted at her, trying to scratch her.

"Hey! Hey! No, no!!! No fighting in my room!!!" Sarah exclaimed, pushing Salem away from Mitt. He growled, baring his teeth. "I'm sorry, buddy," Sarah apologized, gently petting Salem, "I didn't know you'd care so much since you've already seen it!"

"Whatever..." Salem huffed, curling up on his side. Mittens just ate her toast quietly.

"Can we press play now....." she said, sounding slightly peeved.

"Yeah," Sarah replied, pressing the spacebar on her laptop. Dirt started to back out of the room, not understanding what sort of drama was taking place here and not wanting to find out.

Dirt went back to his room and fell back onto his bed with a sigh. He was tired, despite having gotten all that sleep. His mind was foggy as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. There were several notifications on the screen from different apps, including several text messages.

7:14AM
Sarah: where are you guys??
7:20AM
Sarah: :/

Whoops...

6:03AM
dazey: is brian losing it or do u actually live with a catboy?

Ah jeez... Brian had told Daisy about what happened? Dirt was pretty sure he made it clear to him that Salem was kind of supposed to be kept on the down low?

8:36AM
me: what did he say??
dazey: that he broke up with you because you're a liar lmao
dazey: sorry thats not funny typing lmao is a reflex
dazey: idk some of the stuff he said was like really wild so idk what to believe
me: ah
me: well
me: um.... i dont know what to say lol he probably told u the truth
dazey: fr? even the catboy part?
me: lmao is that the only part you care about
dazey: its the part i dont believe
dazey: i mean who HASNT lied about a mental illness or two
dazey: im joking
dazey: kind of
me: 😶
dazey: lmao anyways
dazey: not to pry or anything but im losing my mind over the prospect of cat people being a thing? like in real life??
me: yeah
me: hes real
me: and its catpeople not cat people
dazey: oh
dazey: not that i dont believe u but..... like do u have pics lmao
me: uh maybe

Dirt opened up his photos and scrolled through. It was mostly screenshots with the occasional bad selfie sprinkled in, as well as some pictures of Salem being cute in cat form, but he couldn't find any of him in human form.

me: [image] well here's him in cat form lol
me: i know that doesnt prove anything
me: i havent taken any pics of him in person form i guess
me: hes in my roommates room rn watching anime with her and his sister
dazey: sister? a catgirl? 😳
me: lmao yeah she comes over a lot but she has her own place and like a husband
me: a human husband
dazey: lmao.. what the fuck
dazey: no offense but this all sounds soooo made up
me: i know...
me: oh wait i know where theres pics of him hold on a sec

Dirt was going to try and go to Salem's OnlyFans page, but he didn't actually know his username or anything. >Maybe the login's on my laptop.. Dirt got out of bed and sat in his desk chair, opening up his laptop which was set atop his desk. On the screen was the Babish video they'd been watching together, and tumblr in the other tab. He went to browser settings and looked in the saved passwords.

Many of Salem's logins were saved there, including webkinz, tumblr of course, wikipedia, and the one he was looking for: onlyfans. He searched up the username on the site and oh my god wow. What was he expecting? It's OnlyFans. I know but... wow.... Every explicit picture was taken in Dirt's room, sometimes in his own bed. There were a couple of regular selfies of Salem fully clothed sprinkled in there sporadically, which was exactly what he needed. He saved one that showed off his ears really well to his phone and sent it to Daisy.

me: [image] here
dazey: oh my god
me: i mean i guess u could still say its edited but i prommy hes real lol
dazey: i mean i want to believe
dazey: can i.. meet him?
me: uhhhhh idk probably yeah idk when tho
me: so like do u not care about any of the other stuff? that brian told u?
dazey: *shrugs*
dazey: i mean i dont really have all the details i was kinda confused by a lot of what he said tbh
dazey: u should tell me about it more in person when i meet ur catboy :)
me: lol sure

9:05AM
me: sorry i was asleep when u texted me
me: we were at divan's hotel room. ill make sure to let u know if we're gonna like be gone like that again sowwy 💔
me: anyways mittens said u two were kissing? 👀 lol
Sarah: aslfjdjshf ;; 🙈
me: she refused to elaborate tho sooo 👀
Sarah: ahfjdhfddjj
me: okay these arent words sarah
Sarah: 🥺
Sarah: AGH i don't know ;-; it happened so suddenly i don't know if it means she likes me like that or anything.....
me: girl...
Sarah: CATPEOPLE ARE AN AFFECTIONATE SPECIES WE KNOW THIS!!!
me: lol i guess so yeah.. do you like *her* like that?
Sarah: hhghddjfjgf 🥺
Sarah: i dont know!! wah!! she's sitting right next to me stop it im blushing!!!!!
me: ahaha sowwy OwO

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