Dating Salem was nothing like dating Brian. For one thing, they lived together. But for another thing, Dirt was never sure when Salem was being serious with him. He constantly teased him and bossed him around. And also just straight up lied to him for no reason sometimes. It's not like Dirt had any room to complain, though, being a compulsive liar himself. But it got his head all mixed up, sometimes, like he wasn't exactly sure where they stood.
Salem still often talked to Dirt like he saw him as his servant. Sure, Dirt liked to do things for Salem and liked seeing the gracious look on his face and hearing his thanks and praise, but still he was insecure about what it all meant for the nature of their relationship, and if Salem was taking advantage of him.
But Salem helped Dirt too, helped him sleep, kept him company, helped him roll sick joints... And hanging out with him was always just fun and super enjoyable!
It was late evening and Dirt didn't have work that night, so he and Salem were in his room, passing the bong back and forth as Salem sat on Dirt's bed, and Dirt sat in his desk chair. "Divan offered to get us a hotel room for a night," Salem said, seemingly out of nowhere.
Dirt went into a coughing fit. "Wh-ha-what?" he asked, choking on the hit he was taking, and reaching for his cup of water. Salem just stared at him and waited for him to stop coughing.
"Like to fuck," he said. "Or just hang out. I told him what you said the other day, and he said he still would like to just chill with you."
"Really? Like, he wants to be.. friends? I doubt we have anything in common," Dirt said dismissively. Salem rolled his eyes and reached for the bong.
"Um well for some reason he thinks you're a, quote 'very interesting character,' so..."
"For some reason? What, you don't think I'm interesting?" Dirt asked, faux offended.
"Lawl no, you're boring and lame," replied Salem.
"Pfft.. Whatever. An eccentric french catboy thinks I'm cool, obviously your opinion doesn't matter here."
"Shut up, you care about my opinion sooooo much!" Salem teased.
"No way, dude," Dirt joked, and took the bong back from Salem. "Anyways... Hotel room? Are you serious?"
"Mhmm!" Salem chirped. "He also said he got top shelf weed and wants to share it with us."
"Okay. Now you're just lying to me," Dirt rolled his eyes.
"I am not!" Salem laughed, "Oh em gee! Why was that what made you think I was lying?"
"You're just, like, making shit up and trying to sweeten the made up pot so I'll agree to some stupid shit and you can make fun of me!" Salem reached for the bong again.
"You are so stupid," he said before taking a hit. "I'm not lying, dude! He said he's available tonight, and you don't have work, right? It works out perfectly!"
"Well even if you are telling the truth, which I still don't fully believe, I still don't know if I'm comfortable with that..."
"What, hanging out with Divan? Like, platonically? God, you're still jealous, aren't you," Salem accused.
"I was never jealous!" Dirt lied, "Just! What if he does something weird when he has us in his hotel room, y'know?"
"Oh my god... Why are you so paranoid? Y'know you should have more than friends than your roommates and coworkers.."
"Whatever. I've never been a people person, dude.." Dirt took the bong.
"Okay, well I want more friends than just you and Sarah," Salem huffed.
Dirt sighed. "Fine. Okay. I'll hang out with him, but don't expect me to have any fun," he scoffed.
"Boo, you whore," Salem teased as he pulled out his iPod. "I'll text him right now." Anxiety rose in Dirt's chest. Something about the prospect of seeing Divan again had him unsettled. He was kind of an unsettling guy, and who knew what his intentions were! But I'm gonna do this for Salem. He's right, I should have more friends... Sarah could get her own place, and my coworkers could leave at any moment. But was Divan friendship material? Amber and Daisy and to a lesser extent Veronica and Leslie were people that Dirt could get along with, and Amber was one of his close good friends.
Well sure, I'll probably always have Amber, but that's just one person.. Daisy's just friendly with me because we work together and it's easier that way, and Veronica and Leslie only barely acknowledge my existence and probably laugh at my jokes because I'm their older coworker and they're, like, intimidated by me or something. Dirt was making quite an assumption there. There was no legitimate reason Daisy couldn't be a good friend if they just talked a little more! Was it worth it to Dirt to sacrifice his comfort to hang out with Divan just for Salem's sake? Yes. Besides, it can't be too bad if Salem's there. I'll most likely just be a background piece. A third wheel.
Oh, here we go again. Dirt's debilitating insecurities around being unwanted were starting to surface bigtime. He'd always had this problem, ever since he was a little kid. It probably came into being, or at least was really kicked into gear with the incident of Gavin's birthday party in middle school. Can we not get into this right now? In middle school, Dirt had been part of a friend group of about 8 or 9 people who did everything together. Please don't. I don't want to think about this right now. They sat next to each other on the bus, they waited in lunch lines together and always sat at the same lunch table. They'd even arrange their schedules so they could be in the same classes with each other. But one day at lunch, Dirt watched Gavin, someone he considered to be one of his best and closest friends, go around the lunch table and hand a personal invitation to his upcoming birthday party to everyone. Yeah, yeah, everyone except me, we get it.
"Um.. Sorry, Dirt, it's nothing personal," Gavin had said, "My mom said I could only invite a certain number of people, so...."
"Haha oh, yeah, it's fine. I don't mind! No, really!" I'd said. Fucking lol. God that really fucked me up for life, didn't it. Yeah, probably. Kind of like Dirt's villain origin story or whatever. Hah. I'm not a villain. [Awkward Silence] Anyways, even though he'd told Gavin he didn't mind and didn't take it personally, of course he did. Of course it had to be personal. After that, Dirt noticed that those friends of his kind of left him out of a lot of things.
The worst part was the next week when everyone at his table had their inside jokes about what had happened at the party, and the awkward tension of Dirt asking what they were talking about was so thick you COULDN'T cut it with a knife. Like it was cement or something. The looks they'd given him. Ugh...
"Dirt??" Salem had been trying to get his attention for a few seconds now. Dirt snapped out of his thoughts and looked up at him. "Um... Are you okay? I was saying your name and you weren't responding and you looked all zoned out and creepy..."
"Yeah, sorry. I was just having a convo in there, y'know," Dirt responded casually.
"...Huh?"
"You know, like, arguing with myself in my head."
"Um... Okay.... Kind of weird ell oh ell..."
"What? Everyone does that."
"...I don't..." said Salem.
"Pfft, alright, then you're the weird one, man," Dirt said, rolling his eyes. "You really don't like, have a little voice in your head that talks to you and stuff?"
"Uhhhh I mean I think to myself in my head but it's my own voice in there.."
"No, no, like another person who like, disagrees with you and stuff," Dirt tried to clarify.
"...No. I don't have that... I think maybe you are an insane person o.o" Salem said somehow.
"Shut up! Were you saying something, or...?"
"Uhhhh.. oh yeah!" Salem exclaimed. "Divan said he'll come and pick us up in his car..." he simpered.
"Of course he has a stupid car..."
"Ohhh em GEEE Dirt! The jealousy is like! OOZING out of you, man!" He was right.
"Shut up.." Dirt said to both Salem and me.
Divan pulled up in the driveway in his little two-doored baby blue mini cooper. Oh my god of course that's the car he has. "Oh em gee what a cute little car!" Salem chirped as Divan opened the passenger door.
"Merci, my darling," he replied with a sultry look as he leaned down and pulled a lever under the seat, popping it forward, as there were only two doors and so you had to crawl into the back seat like a fucking animal. Salem and Dirt both sat in the back, to Dirt's relief. He assumed Salem was going to take the front and the third wheeling was going to begin before they even got to the hotel. "It is just a small drive," said Divan as he buckled his seatbelt. French lo-fi was playing softly through the speakers. It wasn't bad, actually. Kinda made Dirt sleepy...
"So... Dirt..." Divan began, making eye contact with Dirt through the rearview mirror, "I am told you might be interested in a little bit of voyeurism, no?"
"No!" Dirt exclaimed, "I MEAN.." Divan's eyebrows raised. "I uh... You know, it's like, i-if you two are gonna... have sex or whatever, I wouldn't mind like watching to make sure everything is-is-y'know, not that I think you'd do something bad or anything like that, but just to make sure everything is going well and that Salem is okay and all..." Dirt rattled on, stuttering and stumbling over his words as his mouth moved faster than his mind.
"Oui... That is voyeurism, darling," Divan said with a chuckle.
Dirt laughed nervously. "Well I dunno I just uh see it differently than that, I guess.."
"Hmh. Okay. Whatever you want to call it is fine with me, I suppose," Divan shrugged. Salem giggled.
"He's just really shy about anything involving sex," said Salem.
"That's okay, Dirt. We can all just enjoy a nice evening in each other's company without any sex!" Divan smiled. "And here we are!" they said as it turned into the parking lot of a Holiday Inn. Salem was ogling at the fanciness of the place as Divan led them to the room he'd already booked.
It had been hard to see them in the darkness when he'd picked them up, but now that he could be seen in the light, he admittedly looked pretty fuckin' hot. He wore a beret to cover his ears, and his hair was tied in a sleek low bun, with two small braids tucked into it from either side of his head. They wore a long-sleeved white blouse with frills at the wrists and collar, underneath a black, golden pin-striped vest. A long, blood red skirt went down to just above his ankles with sheer black stockings underneath. With each confident stride, his black pumps clicked on the floor.
Dirt was wearing jeans, an old minecraft t-shirt, and a zip-up hoodie with worn down sleeves.
The room was pretty standard with a king sized bed, a kitchenette, and a spacious bathroom with a jacuzzi bath... "If you are hungry, I can order us some room service," Divan offered, "and we are allowed to smoke in here.. I just did not say what we'd be smoking," he winked.
Salem giggled. "Room service sounds amazing," he purred, jumping onto the bed and comfortably lounging amongst the pillows.
"Yeah, sure, I've always wanted to order room service," Dirt agreed with a modest shrug.
He didn't want to ask for too much... Salem obviously didn't have the same predilection. He ordered several different things from the menu, and Divan didn't even bat an eyelash. Dirt just got some seasoned fries and nothing else, even after Divan said, "Are you sure that's all you want? Do not even pay attention to the price tags, darling, it's anything you want, really!"
"Hey, Divan, can I ask.. Uh, how do you.. get all this money?" Dirt asked as he sat on the edge of the bed and kicked his shoes off.
"Hmhmhmhm... To tell you the truth, I have a... how you say.... sugar daddy? Is that right? My owner, he gives me a... weekly allowance. And all I have to do is fuck him sometimes, it is pretty great! Especially because he is hot!" Divan said, almost bragging.
"Woooooow...." Salem drawled, "That sounds sooo epic..."
Divan chuckled, and seductively caressed Salem's cheek. "So, um, you said you have weed?" Dirt said, unconsciously directing Divan's attention away from Salem. That wasn't my intention, I was just asking! He didn't even realize that was why he decided to ask just then. He was still in denial about how jealous he was. He was still high from the bowl he'd shared with Salem not too long ago, in fact.
"Oui!" Divan exclaimed excitedly. "I don't want to sound creepy or anything, but," failed at that, "I admit I purchased it in anticipation of seeing you two again. I myself don't partake so often, only socially usually."
"Awwww!!!" Salem cooed, "You are just the sweetest!" He nuzzled his face against Divan's shoulder, and Divan nuzzled him back, bonking their heads together as they both purred. Dirt, just sort of watching them, felt embarrassed and blushed, feeling like he wasn't supposed to be witnessing this.
"I see you blushing Dirt," Salem teased.
Dirt scoffed. "I'm just! Feel like I'm violating your guys's privacy!"
"This is just a normal catperson interaction," said Salem.
"Well! To me, it looks intimate!"
"Do not worry, mon chou," Divan said, placing a gentle hand on Dirt's thigh. He blushed even harder. "Your watching us would not be a violation in any case, hm?" It smiled at him, its orange eyes burning into Dirt like the sunset. Its face was so close to his, he could see the freckles in their eyes.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! "Room service!" A voice sang from behind the door.
"Ah!" Divan stood, and quickly went to open the door, letting the waiter roll in the food they had ordered. "Wonderful, wonderful," said Divan as he handed the guy a fifty dollar bill. The tray was rolled in front of the bed, where Salem immediately sat down and started digging into his food. Dirt sat politely, eating his fries one at a time, dipping them into the smallest amount of ketchup ever. Divan ate his food one dainty bite at a time, cutting it up into little baby pieces, and dabbing his mouth with a cloth napkin after each bite.
Salem had, of fucking course, ordered a lobster, and just ripped the sucker right open and sucked out its meat, and then shoveled a bunch of mashed potatoes into his mouth right after it. Dirt wasn't hungry anymore.
"So weed??" Salem asked excitedly, wiping his face with his sleeves.
"Eugh, Salem, come on.. Use a napkin," Dirt scolded, grabbing a napkin off the tray and handing it to him. Salem begrudgingly took it.
"Oui! Un moment..." said Divan. He stood up and went over to the corner where he had an orange duffel bag, and dug around in it for a moment before pulling out what looked like a gift bag with tissue paper coming out of it. He dug through said bag, tossing the paper to the side, and retrieved two eighth ounces of peach creme gelato. "I got this because it has a french word in it and I thought that was cute," they said as they set the containers on the bed. "They also had these adorable little pipes I just had to go for it..." Divan also got out a little glass-blown pipe that was all wrapped up in tissue paper.
It ripped the paper off of it and held it up so Salem and Dirt could see. It was pretty cute. It was a small pipe with a chamber for water, and had blue, yellow, and pink swirling through it. "Awwww its so widdle :3" Salem said, taking the pipe from it and examining it closer.
So Divan packed them a bowl and reached into his skirt pocket (fuck yes) and pulled out a golden lighter with the silhouette of a cat engraved on it. "Dirt?" said Divan, passing said lighter and pipe to him, "Would you like to go first?"
"Oh. Um. Sure," Dirt said awkwardly, accepting Divan's offer. He flicked open the cap of the lighter. "This is nice," he said, turning it in his hand.
"Merci," Divan smiled, "I got it custom made hmhmhmh..."
Dirt took a generous hit before passing it back. "Mm.. That's pretty good, actually," he said.
"Salem?" Divan said, handing the pipe and lighter to him.
"Fuck yeah!" Salem took a Large hit as well. "OOOOH BAABEY!" he screeched. Dirt covered his mouth to conceal his snorting laughter. Divan giggled modestly. As Salem passed the pipe back to Divan, he reached up and knocked his beret off his head. "Dont gotta hide these anymore!" he said, yanking his own beanie off his head as well. "Oh em gee Divan I looooove your piercings how did you get that done?" Salem asked, leaning against Divan's shoulder.
"Hmhmhmh, Merci, mon minou, merci... I am quite lucky, you see. In my youth, back when I lived in France, one of my servants worked at a tattoo parlor. She did this for me," Divan smiled, as he started to undo his bun, letting his hair down. He shook his head, letting his long, wavy, blue hair dance around his shoulders. Salem's gaze was clearly lustful.
Divan took a modest hit from the pipe before passing it back to Dirt. "Oooooh em gee I am soooo jealous!!! I really want my ears pierced and also maybe a nose piercing? And TATTOOS!" Salem bubbled.
"Hmhmhm... I think a nose ring would suit you nicely, my darling," Divan purred, cupping Salem's face in its hand. Salem giggled and put his hands on their chest, nuzzling his face against their hand.
"Ooohhh, you're such a flatterer hehe!" Their noses were touching. Dirt took like two huge hits while they were distracted with each other, and started having a coughing fit, getting Divan and Salem's attention.
"COGUHCOUGH UGHSORRY COUGHH OH GOD.." he coughed. Divan crawled over to him, getting very close to his face, and Dirt thought they were about to kiss him or something, but they were just reaching behind him.
"Don't hurt yourself, darling!" said Divan as he handed Dirt a glass of ice water. Dirt took it, still struggling to not cough.
"Thank you," he sputtered, taking a tiny sip. Divan sensually caressed Dirt's jawbone with a single finger as he sat back down, closer to Salem, who was taking another hit from the pipe. Dirt's heart was starting to speed up, partially from the weed and partially from the overall intense sexual energy in the room as the three of them passed the little pipe back and forth.
Every time Dirt had the pipe and Divan and Salem's hands were free, they were all over each other. Salem put a hand on Divan's thigh, and Divan snaked an arm behind Salem's back, squeezing his side. Dirt felt. Weird. He was still hung up on the whole privacy violation thing, and not only that, but his jealousy was getting harder to ignore. He wanted to be all touchy with Salem, too, but he wasn't sure if that was okay!
"Hey, why are you so anxious?" Salem asked suddenly.
"Huh?" Dirt jumped, having been zoning out a little.
"Tch.. You know we can smell when you're anxious, Dirt..." he rolled his eyes.
"Um! I don't know!" Dirt shrugged awkwardly. "I uhhhh.... The... energy in here is um. Not something I'm used to..." he put so eloquently [sarcastic].
"What energy do you mean?" asked Divan, looking concerned.
"Um haha!" Dirt laughed nervously, "Just uhhhhh... Y'know. Like... It's fine! It's just. A little weird for me," he said, not at all answering the question.
"What is weird?" Divan asked.
"Uh, well, let's see. A rich catboy is like, pampering me and my boyfriend. Haha.. And.. My boyfriend and said catboy are also like flirting with each other and touching each other and I'm just sitting here."
"I knew you were jealous," Salem scoffed. "This is empty," he said, referring to the pipe in his hand, and setting it on the nightstand.
"Hah! I am merely treating the two of you the way you deserve to be treated," Divan smiled. Dirt chuckled nervously and ran a hand through his hair, then unzipped his hoodie because he was starting to sweat. "And, my apologies if you are feeling left out. I just do not want to make you uncomfortable with my.. advances."
"Oh, uh, that's.. that's not really what I meant, I mean.. I uh don't know how I'm supposed to be.. acting or what I'm supposed to be doing in this... situation," Dirt tried clarifying.
"And what situation is that?" Divan said, his tone a bit suggestive, "What are you expecting from tonight?" they asked, with a smirk that showed one fang.
That top shelf shit had Dirt pretty fuckin' faded, and his head was kind of spinning. He nervously giggled. Oh god I'm being so embarrassing, aren't I.. I mean fuck this guy's pretty hot AND he's rich and buying us stuff? That's pretty sick. And he's being, like, actually nice to me and.. like maybe it's my fault that I'm just so resistant to new people.
"You know what?" Dirt began, his highness having deteriorated his filter, "The more I think about it, the more I'm just like, 'whatever,' ya'know?"
Divan and Salem both tilted their heads, their attention directed right at Dirt. "What do you mean by that?" asked Divan.
"I mean, like, if you guys wanna have sex with each other, and you're like, inviting me or whatever, why should I turn it down, y'know?"
"REALLY?" Salem excitedly yelped. Dirt gulped.
"Well, now!" Divan exclaimed. "That is quite the attitude change! Is it just the cannabis, perhaps?" he asked, concerned.
"W... Well I..... Uhhh....." Dirt stuttered, having no idea how to respond to that, because fuck what if that was what was happening? But I was also super high the first time Salem and I had sex, and like, I fully wanted that! The only thing weed does to me is get rid of the filter that stops me from doing things I already wanna do, but are kinda crazy! This seemed to be such a quick and sudden change of heart for Dirt, though. Just a little while ago, he'd been talking about how weird and unsettling he found Divan. Well when a pretty guy buys me food and weed and then gets SUPER close to my face to get me water and like, shows genuine interest in me and stuff, maybe my mind starts to change! Dirt just found it hard to believe that Divan had any genuine interest in him for real.. Surely he was just being polite to him to keep Salem happy. But that's clearly just not true. We were wrong about that. "We..." omg I am blushing...
"Dirt?" Divan put a gentle hand on his thigh again, "Are you okay?" He'd been zoning out again. Divan's face held genuine concern.
"Yeah, sorry, just... zoned out for a sec.."
"Well, look..." Divan cleared his throat awkwardly. "I am also quite high," he chuckled, "and I don't want to make either of you uncomfortable. Since you are the one that had misgivings, Dirt, I want you to be the one in charge of where things go. All at your own pace, oui?" His voice was soft and gentle, and he made unbreaking eye contact with Dirt as he spoke, a kind smile on his face.
Well THAT got Dirt. On the inside he just MELTED at how.. gentle Divan was being with him. With a heavy blush on his cheeks, he nodded with the tiniest, "ahuh..."
"So???" Salem questioned, crawling over to Dirt and nuzzling against his shoulder.
"I um..." Dirt cleared his throat, unintentionally mimicking Divan, "I think I'll just... let you guys do what you want and I'll just sit over here and uhhh yeah..." he said, standing from the bed and sitting on the rolling chair of the desk that was just beside it.
Salem giggled, and then POUNCED onto Divan, knocking him to his back and kissing him. They started to help each other undress and Dirt felt like the creepiest guy in the world. Was he supposed to just.. stare? When Salem's sweatshirt came off, Dirt realized he was wearing that Macy's lingerie under his clothes. When had he put those on? ??? Was he wearing them like all the time? Divan very methodically helped him out of them, obviously having experience with such garments. The stockings and bra stayed on, at Salem's request.
Dirt just. Watched. He went through a cycle of thoughtlessly staring and not processing much due to highness, realizing what he was doing and feeling like a creep, convincing himself that he's not a creep because they KNOW he's watching and they're cool with it, enjoying the show, and then zoning out again and starting that process over a couple of times.
This was.. definitely lasting longer than their time back at home. Divan seemed to be intentionally dragging it out a bit.
"Hold on.. I need a break," Salem panted, exasperated.
Dirt sat up straight, suddenly activating like a robot or something. "Are you okay?" he asked urgently.
"Yes! Oh em gee! It's just more than I'm used to..."
"Desole, mon beau," Divan apologized as he pet Salem's face, giving him a kiss on the forehead.
"No, no, it's okay," Salem giggled, "I just need a minute :3" He sat up and crawled over to the end of the bed where the food tray was, and grabbed his glass of water, taking a few sips. "Maybe Dirt can have a lil turn?" Salem suggested, smirking at Dirt.
"Um!" Dirt's voice cracked.
"I can see your boner from here, bro," Salem teased. Dirt embarrassedly crossed his legs and Salem laughed. But he was right. And that boner probably wasn't about to go away while Dirt just watched two hot guys having sex and not doing anything about it. But he was so shy, and the intimacy of being alone in his room with Salem was one thing, but.. He hardly knew Divan, and Salem would be watching.. And he'll probably tease me for every embarrassing thing I do... Divan stared at Dirt with a soft smile. "I would be happy to... help you out with that, Dirt.. If you'd like," he smirked. Oh boy...
"Okay..." Dirt said, and started getting up from the chair. He joined Divan and Salem on the bed, sitting right next to Divan against the headboard. Divan moved in close, caressing Dirt's face and running its hands over his chest. Then down to his waist, where he skillfully popped his fly open. Dirt felt like his heart was going to burst through his chest at the rate it was beating. Looking up, he saw Salem at the foot of the bed, staring at him with a sly smirk. Dirt was about to question why he was staring, when Divan's hand was suddenly down his pants.
Salem soon joined in, helping take care of Dirt until he was satisfied. After which, he decided to tap out again, retreating back to his rolly chair in only his underwear, allowing Salem and Divan to do their own thing again. And he had fun watching them. He wasn't nervous anymore. It was hard to be nervous when both of the other people in the room had so enthusiastically been absolutely all over him just minutes ago.
Dirt especially enjoyed when Divan would do something to Salem that Dirt knew he'd never be able to do, and could see Salem's (always adorable) reaction. And he was also happy that Salem was obviously having such a good time. After everything, the three of them smoked another pipe-full of weed, and cuddled up in the huge bed together, where Salem helped them quickly fall asleep. :)
for an extended cut of the sex scene, click here (18+ only, obviously)
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