back next"Not to summon apollo, but like... I thought cats were supposed to go into heat every couple of weeks and you still haven't?" Dirt said. He and Salem were sitting on the couch together, passing a joint back and forth.
"oh.. Haha.. Pfffhahhaahaha ahahaha dude...." Salem laughed uncontrollably for a minute, as he was high. "Dude oh god... I've been in heat like several times and you never noticed... ahahaha duuuude I was like totally fucking with you when I tried to freak you out about it aaahhahaha!!!!"
"WHAT?? DUDE! Are you serious?!? If-if you haven't said all that shit, I would have never tried to get you spayed!" Dirt exclaimed. Salem just laughed hysterically in response.
"Ahah.. ahaha... bro I'm like literally in heat RIGHT now..."
"Bullshit!"
"No! Really!" Salem laughed, "You haven't noticed how much I've been rubbing on you guys?"
"You always do that!"
"Yeah but like I've been doing it way more. Anyways, I'm kind of bored, do you wanna have sex?" Salem said, devastatingly casually.
"Excuse me??" Dirt slurred.
"I said, 'I'm kinda bored, do you wanna have sex?'" Salem answered, thinking Dirt literally just didn't hear him.
"Umm... No?? You want to have sex with me????" Dirt questioned frantically.
Salem shrugged. "I don't see why not. I'm super horny, and I trust you with my body.. I think it could be fun." He trusts him with his body...
"You do? Trust me?" Dirt questioned.
"Yeah...? You take care of me," said Salem, like it was obvious.
"O....kay..." Dirt said, attempting to process this new information. "I... have a boyfriend.. You know that, right?"
"Yyyyyeah? So? It's just sex..." Salem reasoned.
Dirt scoffed. "Sex is kind of important to humans, dude, like. We usually only have sex with our romantic partner."
"Pfft. That is an incredibly myopic view, you wretched flea. I know for a FACT that PLENTY of humans just fuck whoever they want! Sounds like a you problem..." Salem yanked the joint away from Dirt and took a large hit.
Dirt stuttered incomprehensibly. "Well!! Sorry!!! Brian and I are in a monogamous relationship! Besides, I think it'd be... weird... to have sex with you. I mean.. you're like..my cat, y'know?"
"I'm your catboy," Salem corrected. "I thought you were over that shit," he said, sounding genuinely annoyed and upset.
"Ugh! I don't know, dude, it still feels weird... Like...—"
Salem cut him off, "I don't actually care," he said with a snort, "I'll just take care of it myself like I usually do."
Dirt cleared his throat awkwardly. "Okay...." he said. "Um.. Can I have some more?" he asked, gesturing to the joint.
Dirt was having a very hard time dealing with Salem's... unabashed horniness? He really didn't care about discretion on the topic of sex at ALL, and just saw it as an act for pleasure alone. (Or procreation, if you're into that...) But Dirt felt like it was an incredibly emotional experience that you shared only with someone you love. Which was why he'd never done it before. He'd always felt like he wanted it to be "special."
Anyways, Salem had always been unashamed of talking about sex and his sexuality and such, but since he'd started taking testosterone, it had been getting a lot more frequent, Dirt noticed. Obviously the literal invitation to have sex was a huge one... But it was like it was all that was ever on his mind.