back nextDirt had fallen asleep with Salem on his chest, but awoke without him. It usually happened like this, with Salem deciding to get up and do his own thing before Dirt had woken up, but this time Dirt smelled weed coming from the living room... He reluctantly got out of bed, not wanting to leave the warm embrace of blankets and pillows.
"Listen, I know I said you could have some weed, but like, maybe only when I do?" Dirt said to Salem who was sitting on the couch smoking from Dirt's bong. "Bro... you went through nearly all of it what the hell!"
"Shut up," Salem said, not looking up.
"Excuse me????"
"I got you more don't worry."
"What??? How???"
"Don't worry about it," Salem said nonchalantly as he packed the bowl of the bong with more weed. Dirt sighed and dragged his hand down his face. "Today is a bad one, so I'm fixing it," he explained.
"Dude... That is an unhealthy way to view smoking weed, bro.. That's how you grow a dependency :/" Dirt said.
"Ummm okay? That sounds like a you problem tee bee aych.." Salem said before taking a fat fucking hit.
Dirt sighed again. "Ugh... Well, why's this day so bad anyway?" he asked. Salem growled. "What? What's wrong?"
"It's not of your business," Salem grumbled, "You're just a servant."
"Tch! Jeez!" Dirt exclaimed as he sat next to Salem on the couch. "Can I have some?" he asked.
"...I guess," Salem said, reluctantly handing Dirt the bong that belonged to him. As Dirt took his hit, Salem groaned. "It's just that... Uggghhh... I don't think you'd understand....."
"Why not?" Dirt asked skeptically, passing the piece back to Salem.
"Becaaaauuuuusee...." Salem whined, "I mean it is like kind of cringe anyway...."
"Dude :/" Dirt :/'d.
"Waaa!! Eeee!!" Salem screeched, not knowing how to say anything at that moment. "Sometimes it is like.. Ugh! Like my bod is kinda cringe and not... how it should be..."
"Aww, dude :(" Dirt frowned, "You're having a dysphoria moment, dude?" He scooted closer to Salem, and pet him on the head, giving him a good scritch behind the ears.
"But it's stupid because like most of the time I'm like 'ahaha I'm so sexy and epic and I don't care what people think of me or anything' but like right now I'm like 'wow kind of cringe how girly I look...'" Salem lamented.
"I get you, dude.. Sometimes we just have bad days, y'know?" Dirt said softly, gently petting Salem's hair.
"Whatever.. I don't wanna think about it I'm just gonna.." he took another hit from the bong. Dirt chuckled dryly and ruffled Salem's hair before getting up to make himself something to eat.
Dirt could empathize with Salem. They had their own dysphoric days now and then. It usually had more to do with body dysmorphia problems than gender, but the gender shit would sneak up on him occasionally as well. To be entirely fair, Dirt's solution to feeling dysphoria was exactly the same as Salem's—smokin' a fat bowl—but he wished there was a healthier way he could help him.
"I dunno if this is what you wanna hear right now, but I just want you to know that like... You're very much a boy to me. Like I've never looked at you and thought you looked girly or whatever..." Dirt offered as he sat next to Salem with the "breakfast" he'd just prepared.
Salem sighed. "That's nice of you but like... Strangers will always look at me and instantly assume I'm a girl. I'm so short, and my face is so feminine, and my voice is so high, and my boobs are so big and even though I usually love them, I kind of hate them right now... And since I've been gaining weight, I'm getting all curvy n' shit..." His words were slurred, and he almost sounded on the verge of tears.
Dirt offered Salem a strip of bacon out of pity, which he eagerly accepted, quickly gobbling it up. "Well... For the boobs thing, maybe I could.. get you a binder? If you want? I'd have to save up for a good one, but..." he hesitantly offered, not necessarily sure if he could spare the money for that right now.
"Mmm.. I don't know... It's not like this happens very often, anyway... Like, I'll probably be fine tomorrow. But thanks for the offer, ell oh ell...." Salem lamented.
"If there's anything else I could do? To help? Let me know, okay? I love you, buddy."
"Yeah," Salem said, staring into the distance, his eyes seemingly empty. He silently took a couple more bong hits before slumping backwards and doing a biiiiig sigh. "It's mostly the other things. Like my voice, and my face..." he said. "Like ideally I'd wanna get testosterone but how the fuck am I supposed to do THAT?? I'm not like a legal person!!"
"Hmm..." Dirt hummed, wishing he had more to add.
"Like I kind of just always hate my voice, tee bee aych..." Salem added. Dirt had no idea what else to say. He just nodded sympathetically and continued eating while Salem finished off the bong, occasionally letting Dirt have a hit as well.
Sarah came out of her room, presumably because of the weed stank. "You're smoking weed again??" she harangued Salem.
Salem let out a ferocious "RRRRRREOOOW!!!!" and did not otherwise answer the question. Sarah gasped and looked to Dirt, who just shrugged. "Grrr... I'm sorry, Sarah... I'm in my dysphoria era...." Salem apologized sadly.
"Awwww :(" Sarah cooed, "I'm sorry, sweetie!" She galloped over to sit right next to him and put her arm around his shoulders. Salem nuzzled into her, and then suddenly went cat-mode to curl up on her lap. "Let us know if we can do anything, bubba... I know how you feel," she said, before kissing his sweet little kitten forehead.
"He said he wants to go on testosterone, but like.. How? Y'know?" Dirt said, since Salem couldn't speak at the moment.
"Oh man... I don't know! I'm not sure if they would let him do informed consent if he doesn't even have any sort of ID...." Sarah said with a sigh. Dirt nodded with :/ Salem did the saddest little cat sigh, and Dirt and Sarah both went D: at each other. "Y'know, James is on T, maybe ze could help you somehow?" Sarah suggested to the little cat on her lap. Salem let out a meow that sounded almost like he was saying "how?" and Dirt couldn't help but laugh a little.
"I don't know how but we could at least ask about it, right?" she said with a shrug. "I could text Mitt about it right now!" she offered. Dirt just shrugged and did a little nod like 'sure whatever.' It appeared that Salem had fallen asleep on Sarah's lap; his breathing had become steady and he was starting to snore a little bit as Sarah massaged his little head. UUGGGHHH THIS IS SOOOO BORING IM SO BORED!!! Like and then she texted her okay? And Mittens was like okay we're coming over so it's easier to talk to each other all at once!
So they all were together in the Dirt/Sarah household, and James said, "I think I might be able to help you..." Salem perked the fuck up and did the bugs bunny "WEALLY?" again.
"Yeah..." Jameson replied, rubbing hir scruffy chin, deep in thought. "Okay, how 'bout this: I'll give you a little bit of my dose every other week. I've been on T for 10 years, and I'm pretty much happy with the changes I've already got, so I wouldn't mind helping out my little brother-in-law! Even if it means I won't get my full dose no more." And then Salem cried and everyone hugged.
I don't know, okay? This is so awkward and uncomfortable to imagine being in this situation like I Can't. That is so fucked up. But whatever it's not real I just need things to work out SOMEHOW and it felt like too much of a cop-out to gloss over it even more than I just did. But like I honestly and truly don't want to write out or even visualize in my mind the interaction in its entirety. So there. I hope that's good enough.
What's sweet, though, is James giving Salem his T shots every other week. Ze sits him up on the bathroom counter and does it for him every time and then James, Salem, Sarah (who drove him there), and Mittens all go to like McDonalds or some shit together it's their biweekly family outing and it's very cute.
Alright this is getting obnoxious. Just click that next button or flip that page advance in whatever way the medium you are reading this in allows.