Brian was working a shift with Dirt for the day, which meant Dirt pretty much had a free ride. He just sat on a crate under the counter and looked at his phone all day while Brian handled customers. At one point, someone spilled slushie everywhere, so he did have to clean that up, but that was about it.
"Yaknow, you COULD like, help out or something," Brian said when the store was empty, around 5AM. He was stocking the shelves.
Dirt hmm'd. "Sure bro, what do you want me to do?"
"Help stock, maybe? Clean something?"
"Ahuh ahuh... I hear ya, dude."
Brian stood up from where he had been kneeling to put expired dunkaroos on the bottom shelf. "Do you, though? Cuz you don't seem to be doin' what I'm askin' you to do. Get off the crate, Dirt." Dirt stood, and slipped his phone in his pocket.
"Whassup?" he said nonchalantly.
Brian rolled his eyes. "Is there something going on with you, man?" Dirt shifted uncomfortably.
"Uhh what do ya mean?"
"I mean, I know you're lazy n shit, but you usually help me a little at least. And when you're not helpin, you're usually by my side."
Dirt sighed. "Uhhh well, you know.. It's like... I told you about the cat, right?"
"The one you found in the alley, yeah. I know. You told me the story a couple times now."
"Yeah.. I dunno, taking care of him has been.. A little stressful I guess."
"Him? I thought you said Salem was a girl."
"Oh! Uhhh yeah, no, turns out we were wrong, he's a catboy—er ! boy! cat. Heh.." Dirt blushed and turned around, pretending to organize the cigarettes behind the counter. He wasn't sure how cat people felt about being known, but considering Dirt was 26 and had never seen one in person before now, he figured it was probably supposed to be a secret. Besides, Brian would probably think he's crazy if he said he's living with a real life catboy.
"Oookaaayy...." Brian sighed. "Can you just like, check if the bathroom needs to be restocked? At least?"
"Yeah, sorry, I'll do that..." Dirt's hands fell to his sides and he slouched as he walked towards the bathroom door. Before he opened it, however, the door alarm bing bonged to let them know someone had come in, so he rushed back over to the register. As the door closed, it binged another time, in a fucked up off-key way that Dirt had become accustomed to. At first it had been unsettling, but now it was just another part of being here all the time.
The man that walked in was wearing a suit that was too big for him and was carrying a worn briefcase. He bought a coffee and twenty scratch tickets, which he scratched off one by one right in front of Dirt at the counter, awkwardly shifting in his ill-fitting suit, repeatedly extending his arm to get it out of the sleeve so he could get better leverage on the coin and the card. "Hoo hoo!! Ten buckeronies!!" he said excitedly, handing Dirt the card. Congrats. you made back less than half of what you spent. After receiving his winnings, the man left. Just like that, his old briefcase hitting his leg as he walked.
Then, a regular came in. "Heeeeyyy patty-whack howzit hangin?" Dirt greeted the familiar face as they walked in the store. Patrick was about a foot shorter than Dirt. He wore a fitted white t-shirt with a different colored breast pocket, skinny jeans, and old, beat up chuck taylors. Their hair was crisp with gel and other products, slicked up to form a sort of wave of hair. Behind his thick square glasses, his dark brown eyes gleamed with excitement, as always. "Hi Dirtly!!!" he said happily as he passed the counter and made a beeline towards the coffee station. Patrick usually called Dirt by his full name, even though he'd told them multiple times that they can call him Just Dirt. To which he always responds, "Okay, Just Dirt :)"
After grabbing his coffee, Patrick asked for a pack of cigarettes. "You should really quit these, bro... Just smoke weed, like me!" Dirt said with a wink. Patrick chuckled nervously.
"I know, I know, they're awful.. Um... You know, I was wondering..." Patrick's face was flushed as he started at Dirt with big ol' puppy dog eyes, and Dirt could tell he was grinning even under his mask, "Uh... haha... Do you? Maybe wanna come over for dinner some time? If you're available, and stuff! Haha!"
Dirt was taken aback. "Waitwait waitwaitwait wait hold on a sec are you?? Are you asking me on a date?" He couldn't help the blush that came to his cheeks.
"Y-yeah! Hehh-if you're interested?" 👉👈 Dirt glanced at Brian where he was stocking beer in the back, then looked back to Patrick.
"Umm... can I... get back to you on that?" Dirt answered shakily.
"Oh! Sure! Yeah, sorry I.. I know it's weird to ask someone when they're working, but I didn't really know how else to.. you know! Haha!"
"Um... Yeah... Here.." Dirt scribbled his number on the back of Patrick's receipt. "Text me. So I can uh. Text you later... uh... yeah." He handed them the receipt, and Patrick, with a shaking hand, took it from him.
"Okay.." He shoved it in his pocket, and then fumbled with the pack of cigarettes for a moment before putting them in his back pocket, having a goodbye, and walking out the door. Dirt breathed a sigh of relief when he was gone.
"Yo... Did Patty just ask you on a date?" Brian asked, abandoning his beer stocking post, and walking over to the counter.
"I... I guess so," Dirt said anxiously, crossing his arms.
"Damn... Well? You gonna do it?"
"DO it?!? I-I hardly know 'em I mean we should probably go on a—oh you meant do the date." Brian chuckled and rolled his eyes.
"You got your mind in the gutter, man.."
"Haha... Uhhh I dunno! I mean I guess he's cute. I mean I don't know! We've never even seen each other without our masks on! That was so sudden, I never expected... hah... jeez...." Dirt scratched the back of his head anime-style.
"Man, whens the last time you went on a date?" Brian asked in a way that said 'I bet you're an adult virgin.'
"Uhhhhhhh....." Dirt said, not helping their case one bit.
"You should go dude. Pat obviously likes you a lot, he's always so giddy when he comes in here," Brian pointed out. He was right. Every time Patrick would come in, he always looked so excited to be there, but Dirt had chalked it up to general bliss and love of life. Something he did not really relate to, so he didn't ever really try to analyze it.
Dirt sighed. "I guess you're right. He's nice enough, and maybe..."
"Maybe?"
"I should give him a chance."
"Yeah, man! That's what I'm sayin'! If the vibes ain't right, no ones gonna make you keep seein' him or nothin!" Brian said, lightly punching Dirt's shoulder a couple of times to emphasize his words. Dirt chuckled a nervous agreeance.
The thing is, if you couldn't tell by now, Dirt was deeply in love with Brian. Alright, alright, maybe DEEPLY in love is a bit strong, but he sure did like him a whole lot, and was always hoping that maybe someday, Brian would ask him out. It was probably a bit of a pipe dream, in retrospect. Maybe he could really find something special with Patrick? He'd never know if he never tried.
And Brian just made it pretty clear that he doesn't care about me that way, anyway. So enthusiastically pushing me towards another guy. I might as well give up on THAT whole thing...
5:43AM
Unknown: hey it's patrick! :)
6:03AM
me: hey man. dinner sounds epic. tonight?
When Dirt got home from work, Salem, in cat forme, was curled up in a little circle on the top of the sofa cushion. Aww :) Despite knowing there's the soul of a boy in there, Dirt still loved cats, and Salem was no exception. When he was in cat form, he was still just a sweet little kittycat! "Hey buddy :)" Dirt whispered, reaching to pet Salem's head. But it must have startled Salem, because he instantly ripped his eyes open and flailed around with a yowl, scratching Dirt's hand. "YOWCH! HEY!" He'd left a scratch across four of Dirt's fingers, between the base and middle knuckles. Salem let out an indignant meow and curled back up to go back to sleep.
"Dude!!! You fucking scratched me! What was that for??" Salem was unresponsive. "Oh come on, Salem, if you were reglear cat I'd move on but I know you can understand me." Dirt crossed their arms. Salem let out a low, annoyed growl, and then huffed. "Yeesh! Okay! I'm gonna go wash my wound," he said, all pissed off like.
Salem, now boy form, appeared behind Dirt in the bathroom mirror, startling him. "Oh-jeez!" Dirt sighed. Salem just stared at him in the mirror with a blank expression on his face. "What?" Salem shrugged. Then he rubbed his face against Dirt's arm. "Oh what's this supposed to be, an apology?"
"You smell weird," Salem said.
"Huh??"
"Hmm..." Salem sniffed Dirt a couple of times, "Anxiety. You smell like anxiety."
"Psshh yeah right. You can't smell emotions."
"Yes I can, jackass, it's called pheromones," Salem said smugly. "I can also smell when you're lying," he stated. Dirt rolled his eyes. "So whats wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Lie."
"Ugh... It's none of your business. You're a cat," Dirt said, a little rudely, as he dried off his hands.
"Okay, rude???" With that, Salem left the room. Taking care of a cat was supposed to be simple. Dirt wasn't exactly prepared to learn how to cohabitate with a whole other person, especially not one who isn't even human and doesn't exactly have the same social rules as most.
Dirt awoke from his slumber around 2PM, and saw he'd gotten a text.
12:32PM
patty whack: tonight is good :) details when i'm off work, okay?
2:20PM
me: cool
After sending his text, he rolled over to see Salem laying there, staring at him. "JESUS!" Dirt jumped, his heart pounding. A boy in his bed was not a usual sight for him. Lol.
"Who's patty whack?" Salem asked.
"What are you doing in here?"
"I was napping with you for a while. Then I woke up and watched you sleep for a while. I dunno." Salem shrugged. "Who's patty whack?"
"Huh?"
"The person you're having dinner with tonight."
"Wh— Dude! Did you look through my texts??"
"I was bored... So who are they?"
Dirt rolled his eyes. "Y'know, usually it's considered rude to look through other people's phones. An invasion of privacy?"
Salem just shrugged again. "I thought you said I'm 'just a cat'? Why should you care if a cat's looking through your shit? It's not like I'd tell anyone.."
"Well, it's still an invasion of privacy. Don't do that again, okay?"
"Ell oh ell okay... So who's patty whack?"
Dirt sighed, long and dramatically. "Patrick is a regular at the 7-11. He asked me out when he came in today."
"Is he hot?"
"Wha—... I-I don't know! I've never even seen him without a mask on! His eyes are pretty, I guess..."
"Yo what is up with those masks by the way? Like no one was doing that, and then suddenly everyone was!"
"Oh... You don't even know?" Salem tilted his head curiously. "Shit dude there's like a whole pandemic going on right now. Everyone's supposed to wear a mask so we don't spread it around as much, but some people have decided they're too good for it, or some shit. It's really annoying, like people are legit faking vaccination cards just so they don't have to wear a mask, like it's really not that fucking hard," Dirt accidentally ranted.
"Yikes...."
"Pfft. Yeah. Yikes. And like. I mean, there's more to it than that, but I kinda just woke up so I don't wanna talk about it..."
"Well I'm hungry. Bye," Salem said, and then gracefully bounded out of Dirt's bedroom.
5:23PM
patty whack: hey i'm off work!
patty whack: so i was thinking i'd cook for us! i make pretty good adobo :) but it takes a while for the meat to stew,
like a couple hours so i could start on it now and you can come over in a couple hours or something?
me: sounds good where u live
patty whack: sweet :) i'm at 1312 alfalfa blvd
me: sick see u then bro
patty whack: awesome!! :D
Two hours was a lot of time for Dirt to just sit and stew in anxiety. Kind of like how the meat would be stewing :) Aww... What was Patrick expecting from this date? Just a meal and a getting to know each other?? Or something a little more? I mean it's kind of unusual to bring someone to your house for a first date, isn't it? Usually you want something more public so you can just get to know each other and it's not too awkward to leave if it's not going so great.. Is he tryna fuck? Am I ready for that? Should I... buy condoms?? No, no, probably not..
"Hey. You stewing in here?" Sarah asked, sitting next to Dirt on the couch with a bowl of popcorn.
"What?"
"You've like, got your head in your hands and you're whispering to yourself. You stewin'?" she clarified.
"Yeah I guess so.."
"Whats up?"
"I have a date."
"Shut up! Seriously? Good for you, Dirt!" Sarah said excitedly, nudging him on the shoulder.
"Heh.. Yeah I'm just a little nervous, I mean, it's been a while..." he muttered as he picked at the dead skin around his nails.
"Stop picking!" Sarah shouted, smacking Dirt's hands.
'It's been a while...' Hah. Dirt was in fact a virgin. He'd been on a couple dates before, kissed a few people, but never gone any further than that. It's... difficult, okay? Getting yourself out there...
Dirt left the house at 7PM. He'd cleaned up a bit; he put on some deodorant, brushed his hair, and wore a button-up instead of a t-shirt. His heart was pounding when he approached the street. He made sure to triple check the address, so he didn't accidentally knock on the wrong door, before walking up to the house.
He only waited a few seconds after ringing the doorbell before Patrick swung the door open. "Hi!!!!! Come in, come in!" It smelled heavenly. Dirt was immediately salivating at the savory garlic-y scent that filled Patrick's house.
"Wow... nice place," Dirt commented, looking around. It was bigger than the house he and Sarah shared, and even then, with the small house split between two people, they still struggled with making rent sometimes.
"Oh, it's nothing, heh!" Patrick said, waving his hands around.
Dirt shrugged awkwardly. "Well, uh, it smells great!"
"Thanks! It'll be ready in just a minute! You can have a seat at the table over there," Patrick said, nodding his head in a direction.
Two places were set on the table, right across from each other. Red cloth napkins, sets of silverware, four tea candles, and a vase of fresh flowers were set out with care. "Wow.. Kinda romantic in here, huh?" Dirt teased.
"Hah!! I-I hope you like it!" Patrick said from the kitchen.
"It's great, dude," Dirt smiled. Patrick brought their plates from the kitchen. Dirt was already drooling before the food even hit the table. He almost never had home-cooked meals like this. His average dinner consisted of either instant ramen, salisbury steak, or frozen fish sticks. This was a god damn luxury. "Wow..." he said, picking up his fork, "This looks incredible, bro!" He immediately dug in, and moaned at his first bite, the food ORGASMICALLY delicious. Haha. Annoying. "This is the shit, dude," Dirt mumbled through a mouthful.
"Heh! Thanks! Glad you like it!"
"So, like... What made you... wanna ask me out?" Dirt asked carefully.
"Umm!!" Patrick chuckled nervously and shrugged, "Well, you're really nice to me, and... Y'know, I think you're attractive? Hah.. I guess I just... like the way that, even at work, you're so.... casual and confident and funny!"
"Aw :) Thanks, dude! I gotta say, I was not expecting it. To be honest, it's been quite a while since I've been on a date or anything, so... I don't really know what I'm doing," he admitted.
"Heh that's alright! I've... never really been on a proper date before..." Patrick said with a sigh.
"Seriously?" Patrick nodded. "Well you're doing a great job, I think! I mean shit, you got candles and flowers and cloth napkins bro? This is hella romantic, I am charmed as hell!" Patrick blushed and nervously played with his fork.
"Thanks..." he said softly, before taking a bite of his food.
"Hey, have you ever seen Cat People?" Patrick asked, after they'd both finished their meal.
"WHAT!? N-no! Wh-what are you talking about?? I-I I don't..." Dirt panicked.
Patrick looked surprised, putting his hands up in defense. "Um! It's okay??? It's a pretty obscure film, I wasn't exactly expecting you to have seen it?" he said. Oh. A movie.
"Oh. Right. Cat People. A movie..."
"What... did you think I was talking about?" Patrick asked, quirking a brow.
"Uhhhhhhh.... S-so this movie? You uh wanted to watch it, or something?" Dirt asked, swiftly changing the subject.
"No, I was just asking."
"Oh."
"I watched it the other day... Uh. Because well I'll be honest, I was looking for a movie about cat people. And god, it's terrible. I was just asking. In case you'd seen it and we could talk about it I guess? Are you like, okay? You seemed.. really freaked out just now.."
Dirt sighed... "I'm.. Fine..." He looked around the room, as if to make sure there was no one else listening, even though they were obviously alone. "Can I tell you something?" he asked.
Patrick nodded, "Anything," he said.
"And-and you have to promise not to tell anyone else I told you, okay?"
"Oh-okay?"
"Alright... Cat people.. Are real," Dirt said, devastatingly seriously.
Patrick started to laugh, but when Dirt's face didn't change, they looked discombobulated. "Wait, you're being serious?"
"YES! I-I have one! Well-not-I don't have him he's not like- I don't OWN him or anything but—"
Patrick shook his head slowly, "What.. are you talking about, Dirt?"
Dirt laughed manically. "I know! I know how it sounds, okay? Trust me, when he revealed himself to me, I thought I must be dreaming, but I swear he's real. My roommate knows, too! He lives with us! His name is Salem and he's trans and—" Patrick chuckled "—I KNOW! But it's true! I found him behind the sevlev. He looked like a reglear cat and he was injured, so my roommate and I took him to the vet and decided to take him in, and once he'd healed up, he revealed himself to us! As a real life catboy!"
"I... I can't tell if this just an elaborate joke, or..."
"NO! I.. I can prove it!" Dirt stood up. "Come on, I'll take you back to my house and show you!" Patrick looked at him skeptically. Dirt figured he probably sounded like such a crazy creep weirdo..
"Okay..." Patrick conceded.
"SALEM! Salem get out here! I want you to meet someone!" Dirt shouted as he walked through his front door with Patrick. Salem, who was sitting on the couch in cat form, got up and stretched, just waking up from a nap. "Salem, there you are! Patrick doesn't believe that you're a person. Show him!" Dirt demanded of the small cat. Salem just stared at him.
"Well... He's a cute cat..."
"H-he's just shy! It took a while for him to warm up to me, so.. Come on Salem it's okay! Turn into your human form!" Salem meowed.
"Ummm... I think you can stop the bit now, Dirtly.. It was funny at first, but now it's a bit excessive?"
"No! It's not a bit!!! He's just being a little asshole," Dirt said angrily, pointing accusingly at Salem. He meowed again. Patrick held his hand out, letting Salem sniff it. Salem gave their hand a couple of licks before rubbing his cheek against it.
"Aww... He's sweet!" Patrick cooed.
"Ugggghhh Salem, what is WITH you, man? Are you trying to make me look crazy?" Dirt said, getting close to the cat's face. Salem meowed and hit Dirt in the face with his paw. "HEY!"
"Look.. I think I'd better get going..." Patrick said, stepping towards the door.
"What?" Dirt sighed in defeat. "I... okay, I... Look, I'm not crazy, okay? This bastard is just gaslighting me right now."
"I believe you!" Patrick said, unconvincingly, an uncomfortable smile on his face. "But uh I think I'm just gonna. Head home now. I'll see you later..." Patrick opened the door.
Patrick smiled, again it looked uncomfortable and insincere. The next moment, they were gone. Dirt stared disappointingly at the door that had just been slammed in his face.
When he turned around, Salem was in human form again, sitting on the couch with his legs crossed. "WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE?" Dirt yelled. Salem's ears flattened against his head.
"Quit with the yelling!! Jeez!!!"
"Why didn't you show him you're a person?? Now they think I'm fuckin' bonkers!"
"Dude.. you're not supposed to like, tell other people," Salem said, crossing his arms. "I let you guys know because it is a sacred bond between catpeople and their servants!"
"SERVANTS???"
"Yes. And also because you were unknowingly misgendering me which was cringe."
"Sarah and I are not your servants."
"Uhhh let's see, you feed me, give me water, let me sleep in your beds, take care of my injuries, brush my fur..." Salem listed, counting the items on his fingers.
"Well that's because you're our pet!"
"These are all just words, Dirtly. 'Servant,' 'Pet'... Do you really care so much what I call you? You know what I'm trying to say, don't you?"
"You are so infuriating!! Jesus, I wish I could go back to when you were just a normal cat! I actually LIKED being around you, then. Now all you do is eat our food and use our electricity. You know those things cost money, right?" Dirt threw his hands in the air angrily.
Salem scoffed. "What do you want me to do, get a job?" Salem uncrossed his legs and leaned forward, resting his hands on his knees. "I'm not exactly qualified."
"I'm just saying, you could show me some more respect, considering I take care of you for free!"
"Well it's not like I asked you to. You guys lifted me out of the alley and made that decision yourselves!"
"Well! Now that you're obviously feeling so much better, I should just put you RIGHT back where I found you," Dirt threatened.
"Pfft!" Salem crossed his arms. "Yeah right! You can't get rid of me. Sarah LOVES me. She'd never let you get away with it," he declared proudly.
"Oh, no?" Dirt lunged forward, swiftly wrapping his arms around Salem's torso. Salem growled and yowled as his limbs flailed, his nails clawing Dirts back as they lifted him over their shoulder. He fireman carried Salem to the door, opening it, and setting him down outside, before quickly closing and locking the door.
He went around the house, locking all the windows and doors, as Salem raced to each one, being locked out just before he had the chance to get back in. Dirt watched his expression turn from rage to fear, as the last of his opportunities were lost.
Salem was locked out.