A week had passed when Dirt and Sarah finally decided on a name for the cat: Salem. Like from Sabrina the Teenage Witch, of course! Even though she couldn't really walk on her own due to her arm being immobilized for the time being, Salem was proving to be an energetic little devil. She'd roll around and kick her towel, blankets, toys. When Dirt tried to pet her, she almost always bit and/or scratched him up, but he thought it was worth it.
Salem already looked a whole lot better just a week into being properly nourished. Her fur was softer, and she was beginning to look a little less bony every day!
The day her stitches were removed, and her wrist was better, she ran around the house with a crazed look in her eyes, just absolutely tearing through the place, launching herself around the furniture like she was playing the floor is lava.
Since she could move around now, her bed and food and water bowls were moved from the bathroom out to the small living room. It housed a modest flatscreen and a couch bought from a garage sale, with a long thrifted coffee table in front of it. Salem was really seeming to enjoy all the new space she had to herself. Dirt swelled with pride watching her zoom around like a wild animal. Just a few weeks ago, she could barely move, and she hissed at the very sight of Dirt! Now, she only hissed if Dirt pet her for too long!
Dirt had fallen asleep soon after getting home from the vet around 4PM or so. A couple hours into his nap, he was awoken by a nudge to his shoulder. "What?" he said without opening his eyes.
"Ummm... Hi," said a voice that was decidedly NOT Sarah's. Dirt quickly sat up, his eyes shooting open as he ripped his blindfold off his face. He blinked a few times to adjust to the light and what he saw in front of him... He thought he must be dreaming.
"So basically... I'm person. I was kind of worried that something would get fucked up if I went human forme with the stitches n shit in, so I just kinda waited it out but oh boy, you have no idea how hard it's been with you guys misgendering me n shit!" It was.. Salem?
"Misgendering you?" Dirt seemed unable to question anything else about the situation.
"Yeah I'm like not a girl ell oh ell.. Kind of a catboy." And a catboy he was. He looked mostly human, aside from the ears and tail, and his nails were longer and sharper than most people's. "Hope you don't mind I borrowed some of your clothes. I didn't wanna be all nakey n stuff when we first met. Kind of awkward, probably. Oh! And Salem? Sick name. I'm keeping that. The other catfolks used to call me Buttercup which is lame as hell." Dirt noticed that Salem was in fact wearing a pair of his sweatpants, which were loose on him so he'd tied up the strings, and one of his old high school spirit shirts, that was also big on him.
"What....... the FUCK????" Dirt rubbed at his eyes and blinked a few more times. "I'm... dreaming. Okay. Haha! Yeha. I'm just gonna... fly away now." Dirt closed his eyes and pictured himself flying out the window like a graceful little fairy, but it didn't happen. He tried to concentrate harder, furrowing his brow and straining every muscle in his body.
"Woah, dude don't shit yourself," Salem pleaded. Dirt opened his eyes.
"You're... You're seriously serious? You're.. my cat??? You're not one of Sarah's friends dressed up and pranking me??"
"Pfft.. dude.. could one of Sarah's friends do THIS?" Salem said, then turned to the side to show Dirt his wagging tail.
"I think I'm gonna pass out."
"That's okay, dude, take your time. I'm gonna go say hi to Sarah."
Dirt stared into the space in front of him as Salem walked—on his two human legs—out of his bedroom door, politely closing it behind him.
"OH MY FUCKING GOD?!?!!??" Dirt heard Sarah scream from her bedroom. He amusedly breathed out his nose. Which turned into a chuckle, which turned into manic laughter.
I really need to get some fucking sleep.
"DIIIIIIIIRT!!!!!!!" Sarah screamed. Dirt sighed and dragged his hand down his face before reluctantly standing from his bed and walking to Sarah's room.
When he entered, Sarah was curled up in the corner of her bed, her jaw on the fucking floor, and Salem was just Looking at her.
"Oh yeah so is Dirt like your actual name or does everyone just hate you or something?" Salem asked.
"It's... It's my name."
"Sick."
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON???" Sarah yelped. Dirt shrugged.
"I'm catboy :3" said Salem.
"YOU!!! You!!! You were living in the bathroom for the past three weeks! You watched us shit!! YOU VERY INTENTLY STARED AT ME WHILE I SHIT FOR THE PAST THREE WEEKS. YOU TRIED TO GET IN MY SHOWER!!!!"
Salem just shrugged. "I like you," he said.
"Oh my god..." Sarah put her head in her hands and started rocking back and forth. Salem pranced over to her bed and jumped up beside her, nuzzling his cheek against her shoulder.
"It's okay, Sarah. I love you," he said sweetly.
"I think I'm going into shock," Sarah stated.
"Oh no!!! Sarah! Sarah !!!" Salem continuously nuzzled against her as he purred loudly.
"Jeez why do you like HER so much and not me?" Dirt asked, crossing his arms.
"I think you're fine?" Salem responded.
"You always bite me!"
"Ugh.. dude you don't know how to pet cats... You're always tickling me.."
"Oh.. Uh, sorry, then, I guess." Dirt looked at the floor.
"It's fine! Just cut it the fuck out and I won't bite you no more!" Salem grinned, and dirt noticed his fangs for the first time.
Salem kneaded the spot next to Sarah a few times before settling down and resting his head on her leg, closing his eyes and snuggling up to her.
"Awh... This... this is kind of weird...." Sarah admitted. Salem just purred.
"I have so many questions," Dirt said, "Can you like communicate with cats? Wait, are all cats people??"
Salem's tail lashed angrily. "Can't you see I'm trying to calm down my Sarah?" Dirt scoffed indignantly.
"Come on, man this is crazy! You're a fucking cat boy!"
"Catboy."
"That's what I said."
"No, you said cat boy."
"...Yeah?"
"No, it's ONE word. Catboy. Not cat boy."
"HOW COULD YOU EVEN TELL WHEN I'M SAYING IT OUT LOUD?" Dirt yelled. Salem's ears flattened against his head.
"Jeez you don't have to yell..."
"Well fucking EXCUUUSE me! I just found out that cat people are real, and that one is living in my house! Rent free, might I add!" Salem rolled over onto his back, exposing his tummy.
"Aww c'mon... I'm just a wittle kitty!" he said, his eyes wide and sad as he gazed at Dirt.
"Aw..... He's just a wittle kitty, Dirt!" Sarah repeated before giving Salem a scritch behind the ears. She sure turned around quickly. Cats are masters of manipulation....
"You're a whole person!!! Don't you have like friends or a family or people who miss you?" Dirt asked.
"Mmmmmm........" Salem thought. "Nope!"
"Nope?" Dirt echoed.
"Well, sure I have a family. But I haven't seen them in a long time. I don't even know where they are!" Salem explained.
"How'd you end up downtown?" Sarah asked. Salem made the 'I don't know' sound, and did not extrapolate further. Dirt sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"So—So how's this supposed to work? We just let you live here, free of charge, and take care of you like you're just a regular cat?"
"Oh, come on Dirt... We saved him! Isn't it magical that we get our very own catboy?" Sarah reasoned.
"You JUST said you thought it was weird!"
"But he's so sweet! Look at this guy!!" Sarah cooed, and Salem rolled around, purring. Dirt sighed again.
"I... But.. Don't you think it's weird to like 'own' him when he's a person??"
"Oh, please, people don't even own regular cats," Salem posited, "Y'all fucking worship them. Are you kidding me?"
"Yeah, we 'worship' them when we have them spayed and neutered?" Dirt retorted.
"Hey, for regular cats, that is a necessary procedure, alright! I can admit that! There is HELLA overpopulation of cats and kitten mortality is at an extreme high," Salem said, sitting up straight.
"Oh! So then you wouldn't mind if we had you spayed?" Salem growled.
"No, no, no no no! I said REGULAR cats, okay?? You don't do that to a PERSON! Then we wouldn't get horny anymore, which would COMPLETELY undercut our charm," Salem stated as if it were supposed to be obvious. Sarah burst out laughing.
"I for one do NOT think sexuality is charming," she said with a chortle.
"Whatever... I bet Dirt here does, Mr. Jerks Off Every Time He Showers."
"SALEM!" Dirt hollered, his voice cracking. Sarah laughed even harder, her cackle comparable to a witch. Salem laughed too, and Sarah scritched behind his ears some more, making his purr.
"Hahaha!!! No, but really! I have some questions!" Sarah said, "CAN you communicate with normal cats?" she asked.
Salem shrugged. "In the same way normal cats communicate with each other. It's not like they have complex thoughts, like us. It's all in body language. Humans always personify shit..."
"Interesting!"
"So... Like.. What ARE you? How are you.. what... I... You know????" Dirt stuttered.
"I'm hungry," Salem said, ignoring Dirt, "Y'all got any meats?"
"Uhhh.. we have your cat food?" Dirt said.
"Bleh. Guess I'll just raid your pantry, then," Salem said as he bounded off of Sarah's bed, out the door, to the kitchen.
Once he was gone, Sarah smiled at Dirt. A big ol' cheesy grin. "What?" Dirt said.
"This... is... AMAZING! I can't believe it! Cat people are real! Just like in anime! God, doesn't he look like SUCH an anime catboy? It is kind of hilarious you have to admit," she blathered.
"Yeah, that is pretty funny. I wonder if he knows about anime. Wait.. is that anime.. based on real life, then? If they're real?"
"Shit.. good question! We should like, show them to him and see if it lines up with real life!" Sarah proposed.
"Okay, YOU can have fun with that while I'm gone at work or something. That shit is weird."