back next"I'm TELLING you, bro, these guys are REAL catboys!" Salem insisted as he kicked his legs in the air like a teen girl writing in a fluffy pink diary with a glitter gel pen, except he was just browsing on Dirt's laptop. He had stumbled upon a youtube channel of a pair of twins that did skateboarding tricks in their videos together.
"Look, right...HERE," Salem paused the video, "You can see Grooly's tail peaking out of his shorts!" he said, pointing to like, five blurry pixels that could have been anything.
Dirt rolled his eyes. "If you say so, baby," he conceded with an amused smile.
"They live in LA! Maybe we could go and meet them!" Salem excitedly suggested, kicking his legs faster, and lashing his tail.
"Meet them?" Dirt chuckled, "LA is a big place, dude." Dirt got out of bed for the first time that day, his body making many mysterious popping and crackling sounds as he stretched. "Wanna share a bowl?" he asked, walking over to his desk.
"I'm gonna message them," Salem said, completely ignoring Dirt's question. They assumed the answer was yes anyway, and got out the weed and the bong from their drawer. "Dear Grooly and Tooly," Salem read aloud as he typed, "I love your skateboarding tricks and I think you're both very sexy."
Dirt laughed. "Bro, you can't just tell them you think they're sexy. They'll be creeped out!" he warned.
"Ughhh fiiiiine," Salem whined, tapping the backspace key. "I think you're both very cool and epic," he revised. "I think I know your little secret, winky face with a three mouth..."
"Oh my god. Dude. That sounds so threatening what are you doing??"
"I'm trying to let them know I'm one of them!" Salem defended.
"Dude, you sound like you're gonna try to blackmail them or some shit."
"WELL LET ME FINISH!!!" Salem shouted. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna blackmail you," Salem smirked, and Dirt rolled his eyes, "I have the same quote secret unquote, and I really want to be friends with more people like me! Love, Salem. There. Now I just gotta wait," Salem said, rubbing his gay little hands together.
While he waited, he went back to their videos and clicked on the latest one. "Come watch!" he said to Dirt, "They're so cool!"
"Just a sec," Dirt said as he finished packing ground up weed into the bowl of the bong. When he was finished, he took it over to the bed along with the lighter and handed it to Salem as he watched the video playing on their laptop.
Just a couple of dudes doing sick tricks at a skate park! They seemed to be wearing their own merch, as well. GROOLY & TOOLY in a design that looked like graffiti. Something about these guys was so... familiar to Dirt, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it... They looked identical aside from their hair color. Two skinny white dudes with very suntanned skin. One had pale ginger hair, and the other had light ash brown hair interlaced with streaks of gold, and dark brown. Both of them wore helmets over their messy mops of hair that mostly covered their eyes.
"Man... I swear I've seen these guys before... Have they been in anything else we've watched? Dirt asked, as Salem passed him the bong.
"I don't think so? I mean maybe you saw them out and about! They do live pretty close!" he speculated. Dirt shrugged and took a hit from the bong, his eyes watering as he coughed it out, having inhaled a bit too much for himself. He and Salem sat together, getting high and watching skateboard videos for an hour. Dirt had never really been interested in skateboarding, but it was pretty fuckin' cool to watch people who were super talented at it like these guys were.
"Hey, I already got a response!" Salem chirped excitedly. He read aloud, "'Hi, Salem!' That's me!!! 'Thanks for watching our videos! We're not sure what secret you're referring to. Could you elaborate on that? We've got nothing to hide!' LAWL! Okay..." Salem started typing a response, "I'm talking about that we are all catboys, colon three." The message was immediately marked as read.
"THEY SAW IT!" Salem exclaimed. "Oh em gee they're typing..." The three dots appeared, disappeared, and reappeared several times on the twitter DM before Salem got a response. "OMIGOSH I CAN'T LOOK! YOU READ IT!" Dirt rolled his eyes and took the laptop from Salem.
GROOLY&TOOLY: OMG FORREAL? BRO DO U LIVE IN THE LA AREA WE SHOULD TOTES MEET UP >:3 LOL THAT WAS OUR MOM BEFORE LMAO SHE WAS FREAKIN' IT XD THIS IS TOOLY BTW!!!
"Umm holy shit? Haha, you should see this, baby," Dirt said with a chuckle, pushing the laptop back over to Salem. Salem read the message, his eyes widening. He let out a very loud, shrill, "AH!" before frantically typing a reply. He didn't read out what he said this time, so Dirt looked over his shoulder to see.
salem🍤: ZOMG !!! HI TOOLY ^w^ TEEHEE i live kind of near la i could get my roomie to drive me :3 she has a car so yeah
GROOLY&TOOLY: BRO!!!! hell yeah that is so poggerz!!!!"Bro this is like... against the fuckin' primary RULES of the internet," Dirt slurred, very high. "You don't just meet up with a fuckin' stranger you met online!"
"Grooly and Tooly are NOT strangers!" Salem scoffed, utterly offended, "They are fellow catboys and I trust them with my LIFE."
"Bruh what the fuck... You don't know what these guys' intentions are! They could be murderers!" Dirt argued lightheartedly.
"Oh my goddd you sound like a fucking internet safety PSA from the early 2000's," Salem groaned, rolling his eyes.
"Those ! Insterent safey PFA'S— Internet safety PSA'S had a point!" Dirt said, pointing at nothing. Salem blew a raspberry at him.
"Whatever. I'm an adult! I'm smart enough to know when ill intentions are afoot!" Salem maintained. Dirt laughed a little too hard at that. "WHAT?! DON'T LAUGH AT THAT!"
"Nnnoo," Dirt laughed, "I was just laughing at how you said it! 'When ill intentions are afoot,'' he mocked, giggling through his words.
"Shut UUUUP!" Salem screamed, whacking Dirt on the shoulder with his tail. He went back to the twitter conversation he was having, and ignored Dirt's laughing fit.
salem🍤: yeah so when r u free ;3
"Bro did you just wink?" Dirt loudly asked.
"Yeah? I'm adorably flirtatious, bitch," Salem stated adamantly, making his voice as deep as he could. Dirt just laughed hysterically.
GROOLY&TOOLY: howzabout this weekend? >:3 we have a day off on caturday hehe
"CATURDAY!" Salem yelled, "CATURDAY!!!!"
salem🍤: omg yas caturday is perfect x3
GROOLY&TOOLY: SWEET!!! you can come right over to our place!
salem🍤: omg forreal ? 😳
GROOLY&TOOLY: yeah if ur cool w that!!"Over to their HOUSE??" Dirt questioned, crossing his arms. "Bruuuuh....." he shook his head disapprovingly.
"Shut up! If anything happens, you and Sarah will be there, anyway!" Salem argued.
"You don't even know if Sarah's available to drive you, dude," Dirt pointed out.
salem🍤: lemme ask my roomie if she can drive me that day :3
salem🍤: oh and also is it ok if i bring my boyfriend too? he's also a fan!
GROOLY&TOOLY: FOR SURE!!! we love to meet fans! btw our parents foster kittens so theres lots of little guys around here :3 jsyk
salem🍤: OMG I LOVE LITTLE GUYS!! omg ok lemme go askSalem pushed Dirt's laptop aside and hopped off the bed, leaving the room to go to Sarah. Dirt followed after him, holding himself up on the wall. "SARAH!" Salem yelled, bursting into her room.
"AH!" she gasped, dropping the paintbrush she was holding. "Salem! You startled me!!" she scolded.
"Oh sowwy... Um I need to ask you something!" Salem pranced into Sarah's bedroom, and picked up the paintbrush she had dropped, handing it back to her. "Um will you drive me to LA to meet Grooly and Tooly?"
Sarah looked dumbfounded. "Who???"
"They're skateboarding catboys that make sexy skateboard trick videos on youtube and they said I can come over to their house to meet them!!!" Salem feverishly explained. "On Saturday!" he added. Sarah looked over at Dirt, a mystified expression on her face. Dirt just shrugged.
"Umm... I'm confused.. You... know these guys?" Sarah asked, setting her paintbrush down on the tray of her easel.
"Yeah!!! I've watched like ten of their videos! And I saw one of their tails peaking out of their shorts and so I messaged them and told them I'm a catboy too and that I wanna be friends and they said we should meet!!!" he excitedly told her.
"Oh! Umm... O-okay...? I think I'm just.. a little concerned. Have you talked to them before? Like, outside of them asking you to come over?"
"Well, no, but they're very nice boys and they are very good at skateboarding!" Salem argued. "AND! Their parents foster little baby kittens!!! So if you drove me! You could meet a whole bunch of kittens!!!" He was really appealing to her now...
"Oh...." Sarah's eyes sparkled. "Oh wow... Well I mean... If they foster kittens they sound like good people!" Damn Sarah has really not been takin' my side recently... Dirt just laughed, somewhat in shock at Sarah's sudden change in attitude. Salem turned to Dirt and went :D! He just rolled his eyes, still chuckling to himself.
"Alright, whatever..."
"Come oooon, Dirt, don't tell me you DON'T want to meet more catboys?!" Salem said, nudging Dirt and winking repeatedly at him.
"The hell's that supposed to mean?" Dirt shooed him away.
"Heheh.. You knooooooww," Salem said, wiggling his fingers in Dirt's face.
"Tch-hahA! Get outta my face!" Dirt shouted, swatting his hand out of their face. Sarah cleared her throat awkwardly, and when they both snapped their heads to her attention, looked back and forth between the two of them with raised eyebrows like, 'really? right in front of my salad?'
"Can I watch you paint, Sarah?" Salem asked suddenly.
"Aww! Yeah, of course!" Sarah grinned.
"Ooh can I watch, too?" Dirt asked excitedly.
Sarah giggled. "Yes, you may," she answered. Dirt did a little arm pump all like 'fuck yeah' and plopped down onto Sarah's bed, since Salem had already taken the desk chair, and was sitting there with his elbow on the desk, holding his head up with his fist. Dirt clasped his hands together behind his head and watched Sarah paint like she was an ASMR video.