Black Cats Bring Good Luck

so who knows?

"YOU TOLD SOMEONE I HAVEN'T EVEN MET???" Salem growled as he jumped to his feet, his tail lashing.

"AHH!! No!! Brian told them, not me! And he'd hate me even more if I kept trying to lie about it and made him look stupid!" Dirt said, putting his hands up in defense. "Man, you literally post pictures of yourself online, why does it even matter??"

"Ugh! Because everyone thinks those pictures are edited! They think I'm a master of photoshop and CGI!!! Nobody's supposed to know it's REAL! I thought I told you that knowing about catpeople is something only for the servants we've bonded with."

"Okay, but then you went and told Patrick, too?"

"EhabehbehabebebBECAUSE!!" Salem stuttered, "Because YOU were the one who fucking told him in the first place! You fucking brought him over and tried to out me to him! I just guessed it didn't really matter anymore, I dunno!" He flung his arms around as he spoke.

"Okay, well I'm sorry, then! I figured that since you told Patty, you wouldn't mind if I told another friend who was asking about it..."

"Well, you were wrong!"

"I get it," Dirt snapped.

Salem sighed and crossed his arms. "You need to tell Brian that he can't tell anyone else about me."

"Okay. Sssssooo... Is that a 'no' on meeting Daisy?" Dirt cautiously asked.

"Ugh.... No, I'll meet her... But make sure she knows not to tell anyone else, okay?!" he sighed.

"Okay.." Dirt sighed as well. "I'm sorry, Salem.." he apologized, looking down at his hands in his lap. Salem slumped over, a surprised look on his face.

"Umm... It's fine.." said Salem timidly. Looks like he wasn't expecting that level of sincerity and vulnerability in Dirt's tone. He stepped forward and pat Dirt's head awkwardly.

Dirt snorted. "Wh.. What the hell was that?"

"Forgiving you!! What's it look like!"

"Pff.. Okay... You're cute," Dirt smiled, grabbing Salem's hand.

"Ugggghh shut upppp!!!" Salem groaned, blushing heavily.

3:45PM
me: hey thank you so much for covering my shift the other day i literally owe you my fuckin life. by the way, uhhhh please don't tell anyone else about salem being a catboy... you only know on accident, it's kind of supposed to be kept on the dl.. have u told anyone besides daisy?

Dirt sighed, staring at the message he'd just sent before setting his phone down on his desk. He was alone in his room, as Salem was with Sarah, helping her with an art project by letting her paint his paws and walking on the canvas. Pretty adorable stuff. But that meant he was alone with his thoughts.

He had successfully kept Brian off his mind for the last few months since they ended things, simply pushing down any thoughts he had about him. He didn't allow himself to think about him. With the help of Christie (their shift manager who also happened to be Brian's ex), they were able to schedule their work shifts around each other, so they wouldn't have to see each other when the wounds were fresh. But Dirt was sure that Brian never wanted to see him again.

Whenever he thought about Brian, he'd get debilitatingly sad and angry. Angry that he wasn't given another chance, angry that Brian didn't seem interested in his side of the story at all, angry that Brian was so quick to completely drop him. Sad that Brian left him without any warning, sad because they were in love with him for so long, sad because when it seemed like everything was finally coming together, that he finally got to be with the man of his dreams--his best friend in the world, he just lost him completely.

Brian had meant so much to him. He was such a big part of Dirt's life, and having to quit him cold turkey felt like being stepped on by an elephant. Like, a really angry elephant that wanted to kill him, specifically.

3:52PM
brian: oh.. i told christie too. im sorry dude i didnt know it was supposed to be a secret

Fantastic.

me: its okay just dont tell anyone else and make sure christie doesnt tell anyone either
brian: got it
me: it being a secret was the reason i lied to you and patrick. u know that right? like if it was just a cool little fact that was free to be shared with anyone, none of this wouldve happened.

He'd said too much. And been too snarky..

brian: i know, dirtly. that doesnt make it ok

Yikes.. The full name shuffle... Brian had only ever called Dirt by his full name in a playful or joking manner. This one stung.

me: how does that not make it ok? i was concealing a friend's secret i had no other choice. what was i supposed to do??
brian: i dont want to talk about this anymore
me: seriously though what the fuck was i supposed to do if not lie? what would you have done? yknow you can just tell me if you broke up with me because you dont like me. thats fine! but its not fucking fair that youre saying its over something that was basically out of my hands in the first place
brian: i didnt break up with you because i dont like you dude i still fucking love you

Oh. This wasn't supposed to be happening.. He was just supposed to be texting him real quick about Salem. It wasn't supposed to turn into this whole fucking argument! He still loves me... Dirt felt his chest tightening, like his heart was being crushed in someone's hand.

me: then?? why????
brian: ive told you my reasons
me: BUT THEY DONT MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE!!!
me: you were my best fucking friend dude you were one of the only people i ever let myself fully trust and it feels like you just threw me in a fucking garbage can because i??? was trying to help my friend stay hidden as he requested????
brian: dirt please
me: please what
brian: stop it

He's right, dude. This was embarrassing...

me: then start making sense!!!

Dirt threw down his phone in frustration, staring at it angrily while waiting for Brian's response.

brian: youre being really immature about this

Okay, that's it.

me: no, YOU'RE the one being immature about this. you are so fucking stubborn that you won't look at the facts for one fucking second. you need to be right so fucking badly that even though you still love me, you won't be with me, because that's how unwilling you are to examine your actions.
me: whatever. it doesn't matter. salem and i are together now
brian: good for you. so then why are you still so mad?
me: BECAUSE SALEM DOESN'T JUST FUCKING REPLACE YOU? BECAUSE THERE IS STILL A FUCKING HOLE IN MY LIFE WHERE YOU LEFT.
me: nobody could replace you.

Dirt balled his sweatshirt up in his fist as tears fell down his cheeks. And of course that's when someone knocked on the door. It was Sarah, Dirt knew, because Salem never knocked before coming into his room. Fuck.. Dirt wiped his face with his sleeve. "Yeah?"

The door creaked open, and Sarah peaked her head in. Her smiling face fell when she saw the state Dirt was in. Curled up in the corner of his bed, his face red and puffy, his cheeks wet. "Are you.. okay?" she asked softly.

Dirt sniffled. "I'm fine," he lied. "I just saw a really emotional video that got to me." He chuckled and sat up a little straighter. "Seriously, I'm fine," he smiled. "What's up?"

Sarah smiled sympathetically. "Awh.." She bought it. "Well.. Salem and I just finished our painting! Do you wanna come see? Maybe it'll cheer you up!"

"Um.. I.... am kind of in the middle of something right now. I'll come and look in a minute."

"Oh. Okay? See ya, then..." Sarah gently closed the door as she left.

Dirt sighed heavily, and checked his phone. No response yet. He rested his head in his hands and closed his eyes, trying to control his breathing. After a couple minutes passed with no answer, Dirt lied down on his back, resting his eyes with his phone set on his chest so he'd definitely feel it buzz.

4:09PM
brian: so then what do you want?
me: i want my best friend back
brian: i cant do that
brian: i cant just be friends with you again
me: why???
brian: because i love you too much. im sorry but like i know myself and im not about to put myself in a painful situation like that
me: wait i dont understand?
me: so you like forgive me??
brian: i don't know... im just saying like
brian: this argument is pointless because ur not gonna get what you want no matter what

Salem would probably be okay with Dirt having another boyfriend... But can I handle having more than one boyfriend? I'm practically learning how to navigate a romantic relationship for the first time in my life, and it's rough with just one partner.. Especially because we're both learning, since Salem hasn't been in a relationship before either! I don't know if I can devote myself to two people like that.

me: i understand
me: i'm sorry [brian reacted 👍to this message]

Wow. Wow. Dirt ought to go check out that art, maybe. Yeah...

Dirt slipped his phone into the pocket of his sweatpants and walked over to Sarah's room and knocked on her door. "Come in!" she shouted cheerily. Dirt entered and saw her and Salem's collaboration, lying on the floor to dry.

"Do you like it??" Salem asked with :3

Dirt smiled. "Yeah," he answered, "I really do. This is beautiful, you guys."

Salem bounded up to him, and got in his face. "What's your favorite part?" he asked impatiently.

Dirt chuckled and set his hand on Salem's shoulder. "Haha... Well the paw prints are adorable, of course."

"AWWWWW!! THAT'S THE PART I DID!!!!" Salem boasted, his face shining like the rising sun. Dirt and Sarah both laughed. Salem's happiness was contagious, and Dirt was already feeling better in his presence.