Dirt later woke up on the couch with a blanket placed over him. It wasn't the first time he'd fallen asleep without a blanket and awoke with one, as Sarah would often cover him up with a blanket whenever he fell asleep on the couch. Which happened quite often.
The time was 2AM which meant he'd gotten somewhere around... four or four and a half hours of sleep? He sighed and started to get up, but just then noticed that cat Salem was laying asleep on his legs. He could only barely see him in the glow of the TV, but he was sprawled out with his belly up, and he was so fucking cute. Dirt smiled and gave Salem a little scritch under his chin, then massaged his ear as he started to wake up. Salem nuzzled into his hand and purred loudly.
"Hey, buddy," Dirt said, a bit quietly, as he was still really groggy. Salem did a biiiig yawn and stretch and then let out a little meow! "Awww..." Dirt cooed. "I'm hungry, bud.. C'mon. I'll let you have a slice of bacon," he promised. Salem quickly perked up, his pupils dilating and his ears pointing forward. He jumped to his feet and his tail flicked in excitement as he followed Dirt to the kitchen a few feet away.
Dirt turned on the lights and started brewing up some coffee for himself in the french press. Salem rubbed his body against his ankles as he walked to the fridge and got out the bacon. "This is the last of the bacon," he sighed, "Consider yourself lucky that I already told you you could have some.."
"BBRRROOW!!!!" Salem meowed, doing a little jump as he rubbed his face against Dirt's leg. As Dirt placed the strips of bacon onto his paper towel'd plate, Salem jumped up on the counter.
"Hey!" Dirt exclaimed, "No!!! Get your feet off the counter!! We make food there!" Salem didn't listen, and instead sat down. "Salem!! No!!! Bad!!!" Dirt scolded, and picked Salem up off the counter, placing him on the ground. "That is bad boy behavior!!!" Salem meowed again. Dirt put his plate in the microwave and returned to his coffee, pressing down the.. the thingy. the press. and poured it into his favorite mug, which was one that his brother got him for his birthday one year that said "World's best Grandpa" on it, because he didn't realize that it said that until after he bought it, he just got it for him because it had Bugs Bunny on it and he knew that Dirt liked Bugs Bunny. Dirt treated it as one of his most prized possessions, right next to the ashtray his brother made for him.
When his bacon was done, Dirt set it aside to pop his instant grits into the microwave. He almost always had this meal every "breakfast" (which is what he called it, even though he often had it 2PM, and was now having it at 2AM... breakfast is breakfast!) and he never got sick of it. It was simple and easy to make and pretty tasty!
As he brought his meal over to the couch, Salem followed closely behind, transforming just before sitting down. He picked out a bacon strip from the plate and started happily munching away as Dirt sipped on his coffee. "Can we watch the tv?" Salem asked.
"What do you wanna watch?"
"Ummm... let me pick something from youtube," he said, reaching for Dirt's phone which had been left on the coffee table. Salem typed something into the search bar and scrolled for a second before happily making a selection and casting it the TV, something he figured out how to do without any help. A Binging with Babish video started to play.
"Huh..."
"What?"
"You like this?" Dirt asked.
"Ol' babby?? Of course I do! Why?" Salem questioned.
Dirt shrugged. "I dunno I guess I didn't expect it of you.. You've never shown any interest in cooking."
"I like to watch people do things," Salem explained.
"Hah.. Yeah..." Dirt agreed. Salem wiped his mouth of bacon crumbs and leaned his head against Dirt as they watched together.
Having nothing better to do, Dirt let a few hours pass as he and Salem sat together on the couch and let youtube autoplay. They would comment on and make fun of the videos together, and it was really.. nice! Dirt was glad that he had Salem in his life. Sarah was either asleep or busy most of the time Dirt was awake, but Salem had no real schedule to his sleep. He just napped whenever, and would hang out with Dirt all the time! And besides, Sarah wouldn't make fun of videos with him, and called him "soooo mean!!!" whenever he did it in front of her. He liked that Salem's sense of humor seemed to be more in line with his own.
"Can we go to the mall again?" Salem asked, apropos of nothing.
"What? Why?"
"I like it there," Salem answered, as if it should've been obvious.
"I mean... I guess? I don't have work til late tonight, so I don't really have anything better to do..." Dirt admitted. "What do you wanna do there?"
"I dunno. Walk around in some of my epic clothes I stole from there. Mmmmmmtry a cinnamon bun???" Salem said with :3c.
"Sure," Dirt shrugged.
"It's kinda cold out," Dirt mentioned, seeing the temperature on his phone was 65F. Maybe it wasn't THAT cold... but still... "You should wear something warm."
"Okay! :3" Salem said as he rummaged through his clothes in Dirt's closet. And also through Dirt's clothes in Dirt's closet. He picked out a long-sleeved black shirt with an embroidered cat on the breast, his long black skirt, and Dirt's old letterman jacket from back when he was in high school marching band that he hadn't worn in years. It was covered in achievement patches and had his last name embroidered on the back.
"Hah.. that is way too big on you, dude," Dirt commented.
"It's cosy :)" Salem said, flailing his arms around, making the excess length of sleeves flap wildly.
The mall had just opened when they arrived, so there weren't very many people walking around yet. Dirt locked his bike up and Salem jumped out, transforming into human forme as he leapt. He adjusted his beanie, and made sure his tail wasn't visible before taking Dirt by the hand and dragging him off straight to the cinnabon. He confidently led the way, not having forgotten the layout of the mall, even though Dirt still often got confused by it, despite having lived in the area for a few years now and going to it often.
"Alright buddy, what'd'ya want?" Dirt asked Salem as he all but pressed his face against the glass the treats were behind.
"All of it..." he said.
"Hah! No, dude, I can't afford that. I'll get you one thing."
Salem whined. "Fine... I don't know, have you ever had anything here?" he asked.
"Yeah. You want me to recommend something?" Salem nodded. "Alright uhhh.. Probably just the classic one, I'd say. For your first cinnabon experience."
Salem agreed to try it, so Dirt bought it for him, and they sat down at a nearby table. Salem appeared to be absolutely delighted by the dessert, and quickly and happily devoured it as Dirt sort of just sat there, looking at his phone and glancing up at Salem in amusement every once in a while.
Then, from across the way, Mitt suddenly screamed, "BUTTERCUP!!!!" at Salem, who perked up and widened his eyes when he heard her. He completely ditched Dirt, running over to see his sister. Dirt chuckled and rolled his eyes, looking back at his phone. Amber had sent him a snapchat video of one of her cats trying to eat a piece of string and it was uhhh pretty fucking hilarious. Dirt could totally see Salem doing that.
Dirt looked over at where Mitt and Salem were and just sort of (uncreepily) watched them excitedly talk to each other, bantering and laughing and playfully hitting each other. He got kind of lost in it, actually. It was something he did pretty often; he'd sort of just stare at people having conversations in public and just appreciate the human nature of it all... Watching friends joke and laugh with each other, or a loving couple talk over a meal, or maybe two people who seemed to be on a first date that was a little awkward. It was nice, he felt, because it made him more aware of other people's intricacies; that everybody has their own life just as complex and hectic as his. Well... maybe not QUITE like his, living with a catboy and all.
As he was lost in thought, Dirt didn't hear the first time his name was called by someone walking towards him. But he noticed the second, "Dirt?" and snapped out of it, looking towards the voice.
"Patrick! Hi!" Dirt exclaimed, feeling a spike of anxiety stab him in the stomach.
"Um.. Do you mind if I sit down?" Patrick asked, having approached Dirt's table.
"Ye-uh-yeah, sure, go ahead," Dirt said, panicked, slipping his phone into his jacket pocket and sitting up straight. Why did Patrick want to talk to him again??
"So uh.. How are you doing?" Pat asked cheerily.
"Uh..." Dirt shrugged, "Y'know. The-the same, I guess?" he said awkwardly.
Patrick smiled politely. "You know... I feel like, maybe we kinda separated on bad terms. I-I've been thinking about you.. a lot, actually... And, I don't know... I kinda feel.. bad?"
"Bad about what?" Dirt questioned.
"Well.. I guess mostly, I feel bad about avoiding you since we last talked...." they answered.
"...Ah. Well uh... Don't worry about it, man, yaknow? I'm not mad, or anything," Dirt said. He'd honestly had no idea that Patrick had been "avoiding him" in the first place...
"Oh... Well, that's a relief!" Patrick said with a sigh of relief and a worrisome smile, like he didn't believe Dirt or something, though it was hard to really tell through the mask. But Dirt didn't have much time to process it, because Salem suddenly manifested behind his shoulder, and without his collar on, he had no idea he'd been approaching.
"FUCK!" Dirt shouted and jumped when Salem touched his shoulder.
"Hey, can we go to the hot topic?" he asked. "Oh." He saw Patrick. "Um.. hello," he said, very awkwardly.
"I uh! This is uh!" Dirt tried to think of a quick lie, but Salem was faster than him.
"I'm Salem," he said. "Like, the cat," he clarified. Salem lowered his mask and bared his teeth, showing his long and sharp canines off as proof.
Patrick's expression was unreadable. "Uh! Haha! What?" He looked to Dirt.
"WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?" Dirt frantically whisper-yelled at Salem through gritted teeth.
"Ugh like, all your other friends know, it's like whatever, I guess," Salem shrugged. "I think Patty Whack here deserves some tasty clarification on that weird shit you pulled with him that one night," he explained.
"Ha.. ha... waitwaitwaitwaitwait, you... you're trying to convince me that this... that your cat really is a catboy?" Patrick questioned, sounding a little scared and unnerved.
"I am a catboy, thank you very much," Salem said before Dirt could think of a response. "Hmmgg... I'd show you more proof if there were less people around.."
"Wait.. So... So that was real?" Patrick questioned, "The whole.. That whole thing? You-you didn't just make that up?"
"Noooo hehe it's all real! Sorry I didn't reveal myself back then, I was still a little shy 0.0" Salem explained. Dirt just sat there, silently mortified at the current situation.
"Dirt???" Patrick begged him to say something.
"Uhh..... Yyyyyeeeeaaahhhh......." he said slowly and painfully.
"So when you said-.... So-so then you just LIED about having psychosis?"
Salem gasped. "Oh em gee, you did WHAT?"
"Well, I had to explain it somehow!" Dirt defended.
"Okay. Um. Okay. I have to go," Patrick said frantically, and quickly got out of his chair, speedwalking away. Dirt just sat there unmoving, watching as he left.
"Brooooo.. That is like.. soooooo problematic........" Salem said, taking his seat back.
"Oh, shut up," Dirt rolled his eyes, "I had to say it, okay? It's what he thought was going on anyway! And I wasn't about to like, stand there and keep trying to demand that I do really have a catboy, when he already fully convinced himself I didn't!" he tried to explain.
"Ell oh ell... That is pretty fucked up, man," Salem said, utterly amused.
"Nah, come on, dude. It's not THAT bad! I mean, jeez, Pat's the one that ASSUMED it was a mental illness thing in the first place! I just went along with it! It's really not that big of a deal," Dirt demanded.
Salem shrugged. "Well it is pretty funny, I'll give you that," he said. Dirt laughed.