It had been a week since the vet incident, and Salem still wasn't talking to Dirt. He'd ignore them, and he spent all his time in Sarah's room. Dirt didn't know how he was supposed to feel. On one hand, he had broken Salem's trust and lied to him and take away his autonomy. On the other hand, having him spayed would probably be the safest and healthiest option for him! He'd have no risk of uterine cancer, for one thing. And Dirt had read that cats' estrus cycles can be very uncomfortable for them! He'd probably be taking a lot suffering away from Salem! But of course, Salem would never budge.
Dirt supposed he understood. He'd be angry too if his friend tried to trick him into getting his balls removed. But his hypothetical friend wouldn't exactly have a good reason for that :/
That night, before work, Dirt was doing some shopping at the mall for new clothes, when he decided he'd get himself a little wetzel pretzel treat. The woman working the register was short, probably more than a foot shorter than Dirt, and had split-dyed orange and black hair, vitiligo, and, upon eye contact, Dirt noticed she had heterochromia. One of her eyes was blue while the other was a dark golden color. Funny. Dirt had only ever seen that color of eye on... cats...
When he approached, the woman's expression was immediately that of surprise. Before he even ordered anything, she asked, "Do you... have a cat?"
"Huh? Uhh yeah, I do, actually.. Why do you ask?" Dirt answered with a polite smile.
The woman shook her head, "Um.. Sorry, haha.. I just.. uh... really like cats! And I noticed the cat hair on your jacket, that's all! Um, what can I get for you?"
Dirt gave his order, but.. something about this woman was... sus, if you will. He squinted, trying to really get a good look at her. The name on her nametag said "Mitt" ....Romney? "Umm... I-I'm sorry, but.. are you...." Dirt spoke, and Mitt looked at him expectantly with a nervous expression on her face. Dirt looked around before continuing, and lowered his voice. "...How do I say this... Are you a cat person?" he asked.
"A cat person... Well, like I said, I really like cats! So, I guess you could call me that!" she responded, laughing nervously.
"Right...." Dirt paid for his order and sat a nearby table to wait for it. This girl had something going on. The way she immediately looked.. almost shocked, when Dirt first approached. Could she smell Salem? Did she know Salem?
When Dirt picked his order up, he looked closely at her facial features, and realized that they were pretty damn similar to Salem's. Could this be one of his family members?
As he was eating at the table, Mitt approached him. "Hi... ummm... I'm sorry, but I..." She sat down across from him and leaned in close. Her voice was barely above a whisper, "I smell him on you.. My brother... I.. I can't just let you leave knowing I could see him again, yaknow?"
Dirt nodded. "Of course. Can I ask.. what happened? I mean, when I found him, he was nearly starving to death and had dislocated his wrist! And I mean, you! You have a JOB!"
"Well, we pretty much all just dispersed once we were old enough. As children, we were close, but.. I haven't seen him in so long... It's common for catpeople to never really see their families again," Mitt explained.
"What is 'old enough'?"
"Buttercup left when he was 12 years old. I left a year later. Around puberty, I guess," she shrugged. Mitt looked around nervously. "I should be getting back to work. Can I give you my phone number? I would really love to see him again..."
"Yes! Well.. I should tell you, he's kind of not talking to me right now.." Dirt said, and Mitt frowned. "I mean, he lives with me, but he's mad at me at the moment. But I'll try to tell him I saw you." The two exchanged phone numbers.
Dirt had to get this information to Salem immediately, but he had an eight hour shift starting in in a few minutes! He couldn't just hold onto this huge revelation for eight whole fucking hours!!! He called Sarah.
"Yes?" she answered.
"Dude. I just fucking ran into Salem's sister at the mall. She works at fucking wetzel pretzel."
"Shut. UP!!! You're kidding me. How do you know she's his sister?"
"She fucking smelled him on me and immediately asked if I had a cat. And she used his old name—Buttercup? That's what he said he used to be named, right?"
"Yeah, I think so!! Oh my god, that's crazy!!! Oh my god!!!"
"Where is he right now?"
"SALEM!!" Sarah yelled, holding the phone away from her face. Dirt could hear his little bell collar through the phone. "Dirt just ran into your SISTER at the mall! ..... Which one?"
"Mitt? Her nametag said Mitt."
"Mitt? ...." Dirt could hear Salem talking, but couldn't make out what he was saying.
"What's he saying??"
"He seems excited, I think?? He's conflicted! he says."
"I gave her my number."
"He gave her his number," Sarah repeated to Salem. This was all very annoying.
"Aaaaah look, I have a shift in a few minutes, I gotta get on my bike! I'll talk later!" Dirt said frantically as he ran towards where he'd locked his bike up, and hung up, shoving his phone in his pocket. So much anxiety and anticipation hung in his gut as he biked to the 7-11. he knew he wouldn't be able to concentrate at all.
Dirt was working with two other people that night, since those hours tended to be a tad busier than graveyard, Veronica and Leslie. Since it wasn't like 7-11 was exactly popping off late at night, they basically were doing all the work for Dirt while he sat on a crate and stared at the floor. They probably just thought he was really high or something. For the most part they didn't bother him. Veronica was 16 and Leslie was 18, so they were most likely a little intimidated by someone quite a bit older than them.
It was agony sitting through those eight hours for Dirt. Luckily, we aren't him, dear reader, and we're going to skip the misery and get right to that juicy story! Shall we?
When Dirt got home that night, around 2AM, he found Salem sleeping in his bed, all bundled up in the comforter, with only his little head sticking out. He started to rouse from his slumber when Dirt turned the light on. "Hey, buddy..." Dirt said quietly. Upon seeing dirt, Salem rolled over so he was no longer facing him, and snuggled further into the blanket. Dirt sighed. "Come on, bud..."
Dirt sat down on his bed beside Salem. "I know you're still mad at me, and I can't really blame you for that, okay? I get it. I wouldn't like it if my best friend tried to take away my balls, either," he tried to joke. Salem huffed. "Sorry... Uh.. So..... Your sister."
"What did she say about me?" Salem asked, quietly, still not facing Dirt.
"Well.. she said she misses you. As soon as I walked up to her, she smelled me on you and was asking questions, dude."
"Wow.. I... didn't think I'd see her again.."
"That's what she said to me, hah... Said you guys don't usually see your families again after leaving."
There was a long moment of silence. Dirt just stared at the back of Salem's head, watching his ears twitch. "I'm still mad at you," said Salem, "Just because I'm talking to you doesn't mean I'm not pissed still, just so you know, okay? I am ONLY interacting with you for my sister."
"I know..." Dirt said with a sigh. "...Why are you in my bed, though?"
"It's comfy," Salem stated very matter of factly.
Dirt chuckled dryly. "Okay. Well, I'm gonna try to get some sleep now, so..."
"Okay." Salem didn't move.
"You're kind of hogging the blankets..."
"Hm. Sounds like a you problem." Dirt rolled his eyes with a sigh and went to his closet where he kept some extra blankets and picked one out. He turned off the light and then lied in his bed, squeezing in next to Salem, who still refused to move.
Dirt lied awake for several hours, periodically checking his phone, while Salem slept beside him, snoring softly. At around 6, when Dirt had resigned himself to playing a shitty addictive mobile game instead of getting sleep, Salem rolled over, throwing his arm over Dirt's chest and nuzzling into him. Hah! Idiot still loves me... Even if only in his sleep. Salem's warmth quickly got Dirt feeling drowsy, and soon enough he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore.
When Dirt woke up, he had the uncomfortable gnawing feeling that he'd just had a weird and fucked up dream, but he couldn't remember it. Salem was gone from his bed, but the spot he'd been laying in was still warm. He went into the kitchen, and saw Sarah sitting on the couch with cat Salem on her lap. She was watching the bachelorette even though she hated it. Dirt plopped down on the couch next to her.
Sarah was still in her pajamas. Well, she nearly always was, since she worked from home. She only ever got dressed if she was going to leave the house. She did meet with her "coworkers" sometimes at their houses so they could more easily collaborate on their projects together.
"Has Mitt gotten in contact with you yet?" Sarah asked. Dirt pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the screen. No new messages or notifications. He shook his head. "Hm.."
"She's probably working," Dirt figured. Sarah nodded.
"WHAT?? HIM?? OH, COME ON!" Sarah yelled at the TV. Her favorite boy was sent home... Dirt chuckled, with a mocking affectation. How hilarious it was that Sarah cared so much about the little guys in the television. "Don't laugh at me! Marcus was like, the ONLY one that respected her at ALL! I CANT believe she would do this to him!!!" she cried. Salem stretched his little paws out and did a big kitty yawn, making a little squeaking sound as he did.
"AWWWWWW!!!" both Dirt and Sarah cooed.
Then, Dirt's phone began to ring. His ringtone was the chorus of Hozier's Take Me to Church. Salem turned human. "THAT'S your ringtone? Jesus. GIMME!!" He snatched Dirt's phone from him. "Hello??"
"*gasp* Buttercup! Is that you??" Mitt shouted.
"MITTENS!!! Yes!!! Girl!!!!! You need to come over, like, right this second oh em gee!" Salem said, resting his head on his fist and kicking his legs like a little schoolgirl talking to her bestie. Dirt was a little shocked how quickly they were just talking like they'd never even left each other.
"Yes, bitch!!! My master has a car, ze can take me anywhere! Where are you??"
"Your MASTER?? Pfffft damn ze got you whipped, huh?"
"Oh god, shut your filthy whore mouth! Ze's my husband, too."
"STOP. GIRL WHAT. YOU MARRIED A HUMAN?!?" Salem SCREAMED.
"Oh calm doooown bitch. Hold your judgement til you meet hir, alright? So where ARE you???" Mittens asked again.
"I'll send you the address hold on," Salem said, switching to the texting app on Dirt's phone. He sent his location to Mitt's number.
"AAAHHH!!!" Mitt screamed, "Okay, okay, lemme tell James. I'll text you okay? I have work in a bit, but we will totally come by after!"
"Giiiiirl fuck work oh em geeee...." Salem whined.
"Ugggh I wish I could just say fuck work! I gotta get that bread, though..." Mittens lamented.
"Okay fiiiiine you stupid slut... I'll see you soon!! AAHHH!!!"
"AAAHHHH!!" they both screamed together and Dirt and Sarah Looked at each other.
Salem hung up and tossed Dirt's phone onto the carpet. "BRUH!"
"OH. EM. GEE. Can you BELIEVE she married a HUMAN??? That shit's fuckin' crazy..." Salem said, laughing. "That is like lowkey nasty... Ze'd better be the hottest person alive I swear."
"Haha! Oh, come on, Salem, it sounds like your sister's in love! You should be happy for her!" Sarah argued. Salem rolled his eyes.
"Catpeople don't 'fall in love'" he airquoted. "We fuck and have kittens and then our kittens fuck and have more kittens. You know cats have barbed dicks, right?"
Sarah nodded knowingly, while Dirt cringed, having just learned this horrid reality.
"EL OH EL! SOMEONE DIDN'T KNOW!" Salem pointed at Dirt's stupid face. "Don't worry, catpeople have normal human dicks in human form, Dirt. I know how much you want catboy dick up your ass."
"WHAT????" Dirt screamed. Sarah and Salem laughed together.
"Aaahahaha... I'm just fuckin' with you, man," Salem said, wiping a tear of laughter from his face. Dirt was not amused.