Black Cats Bring Good Luck

everything cool

WARNING
this section contains a character lying about experiencing delusions... 😬

9:30PM
me: i think i scared pat away
brian: wtf u do
me: ummm its hard 2 explain lol
me: but im p sure he thinks im fucked up for real
brian: did u tell him abt ur piss kink
me: NO
me: IDONT EVEN
me: 😔
me: but thats not what happened
me: i just.. made a fool of myself idk lol
brian: bro like what did u do tho
brian: how did u make a fool of urself or w/e
me: r u working tonight?
brian: yea u r too right?
me: ye see u then
brian: ???? ok ig


At work, Dirt helped Brian as much as he could, trying to get his mind off of everything. When Brian asked, Dirt simply said he didn't want to talk about the date with Patrick. For the first few hours, they barely talked at all. When Dirt took his break, he sat outside, staring at his phone, scrolling through stuff but not really paying attention to any of it. His mind was a mess. He wanted to tell Brian how he felt but he was too much of a coward.

He began formulating something to say in his head. Perfect. He'd just make everything super vague and confusing and make Brian figure everything out himself, force him to parse through his cryptic dribbling.

"You know," Dirt said as he walked back inside, "I think I kinda sabotaged myself on purpose. Y'know, like, unconsciously or whatever."

"Why would you do that?"

Dirt sat on a crate behind the front counter. "Maybe because like, I didn't actually want it to work with them. Like, on an unconscious level. I dunno.."

"Hm..." Brian hummed, leaning against the counter. "You think you're not ready for a relationship?" he asked.

"Well... I dunno. Maybe if it was with the right person......" Like you....

"Ye I get that. Like you just had a gut feelin that somethin wasn't right. Didn't feel a connection, so your unconscious mind made you split."

"Yeah, exactly! Man... I love you so much, bro." Dirt stood up and walked over to lean against Brian's shoulder. "You GET me, dude... I couldn't ask for a better bestie/coworker."

Brian chuckled. He nudged Dirt off of him and stole his hat so he could rustle his hair up. "HEY!" Dirt shouted, quickly reaching for his hat and replacing it on his head. Brian smiled and laughed at his reaction, and Dirt felt himself blush. Embarrassing...

"Hey, do you wanna go grab coffee together after work?" Brian asked. "Like, coffee not from here, haha.."

"Hell yeah dude! Where you wanna go?"

Brian shrugged. "Oh I dunno... Christie was goin on n on about this cafe her man took her. Sounds pretty nice." Her man took her?? And you wanna take me there? Inch resting...... Alright don't overreact.

"Oooohhh her man took her there? Sounds pretty rrrrromantic, Bri-guy...." Dirt said, rolling his r and batting his eyelashes facetiously at Brian. Failed step one.

Brian laughed and rolled his eyes, playfully shoving Dirt. "Shut up, bro," he said, laughing. Dirt laughed along with him, til the bing bong of the door interrupted them. They both turned to look and see who'd come in.

"Patrick! Hey, man!" Brian greeted him, as Dirt ran into the bathroom. He put his ear up to the door, but he couldn't really make out what they were saying with the loud bathroom fan blaring in his ears. All he knew is that they were certainly having a conversation of some kind.

Dirt wasn't expecting to see Patrick again so soon after their cringe fail date. He was sort of hoping he could just put the whole thing behind him and just forget about it all. Patrick rarely ever even comes into the store two days in a row! He did this on purpose! Why?? Did he want to talk to him? What was there to say? 'Hey Dirt just wanted to say delete my number cause you're a little freak! Bye!' Yeah, he'd rather just lock himself in the bathroom forever, thank you very much.

There was a knock on the door. "Dirt?" It was Brian. "Pat just wants to talk to you, man. I know you're just hiding in there."

"No way dude I am shitting my guts out in here!!!! Don't come in its— aaahhggg soo bad, bro! Ooooohhhh I think I had too many cheeze its, bro!" He heard Brian sigh bigly. Then the jingle of keys. "DUDE I SAID DON'T COME IN I AIN'T GOT NO PANTS ON!" Dirt yelled. The door opened.

Dirt was just standing there pathetically beside the toilet, looking back at Brian who had a very unamused expression on his face. "C'mon, man." Dirt sighed and dragged himself out of the bathroom. He walked over to Patrick and looked at him, waiting.

"Uh.. Can we step outside?" they asked.

"Sure," Dirt nodded, leading the way.


"Look... I'm sorry I took off like that last night. I've been thinking about it, and... Well, I don't know what happened, and I don't know you very well, but, if it's just a... I dunno, a mental illness thing? I figured I shouldn't just skip out on you just cause... y-y'know what I'm saying?" Patrick said gently.

"You're saying..... You think I have psychosis or something?"

"I'm! Not saying that specifically, just—"

"No! uh.. Yeah. You're right. I am! I'm psychotic!" Dirt said excitedly, as if he were just realizing it, about in the same way one might declare they're gay when they first realize it. "I was just... Off my meds, ya'see! Sorry about that!" Woah... Hey man that was a pretty fucked up lie to tell, don't you think? Well they kind of fed it to me?? What else am I supposed to say? Besides, Salem said I'm not supposed to tell anyone about catpeople! Since when did Dirt care about what Salem thought? I'm just trying to protect him. Hmm..

"Oh!" Patrick exclaimed, "Well that's alright! Are you.. back on them?"

"What? Oh! Yeah yeah I just forgot to take them, is all. Yup just a delusion of mine. Pretty silly, huh?"

"Uhh.. Heh.. Y-yeah I guess so? Uhhh... S-so yeah. That's it, I guess. I just wanted to apologize for leaving so suddenly on you like that... I'll let you get back to work, now," Patrick said awkwardly, stumbling over their words and fiddling with the hem of their shirt.

"Okay. See ya, dude!" Dirt said, walking back into the sevlev. Patrick waved and walked away to his car.


"Everything cool?" Brian asked.

"Yeah," Dirt said chilly, "Everything cool." He leaned against the cigarette case cooly, completely confident that this was all dealt with, and his big lie was never going to come back and bite him in the butt.

back next
start over
log