backAs soon as Brian let Dirt inside of his apartment and closed the door behind them, he pulled them into a squeezing hug. Dirt's body finally relaxed after having been so tense at work and on the way over. Brian's warm, enveloping embrace made him feel safe, like he could let his guard down.
But then, the reality of the conversation they needed to have hit him, and he let out an uncomfortable groan. "You okay?" Brian asked, as he pulled away from Dirt.
"Ahhh...." Dirt sighed. How do I even begin this conversation? Ugh this is so stupid and hard... "I'm okay. Let's sit." Dirt gestured over to Brian's couch, and after he stepped out of his shoes, the two of them meandered over to it and sat down, their legs touching. Dirt removed his 7-11 visor and set it down on the coffee table in front of them, quickly running their hands through their hair so it wasn't in a weird visor shape anymore.
"Work got you worn out, huh?" Brian guessed, as he tenderly caressed Dirt's jawline. Their stomach churned. Brian was being so sweet to him... It wasn't fair.
"Yeah..." Dirt sighed.
"I can brew you up some coffee if you want," Brian suggested, and then left a gentle kiss on Dirt's forehead.
Hey I just remembered that Dirt and Brian still hadn't had sex with each other yet. Something was always in the way every time it almost happened and they hadn't had any time alone like this since getting back together! Wow very cool of you to bring that up right now. Thank you so much. Well, it would have been a perfect time to finally make that happen! Did you forget that I still need to talk to him about Salem? You shouldn't even be thinking about this right now! There are fucking important matters at hand, jesus! Can you just shut the fuck up for once and let me do what I need to do?? Ouch! Okay, jeez!
"Baby? You want coffee, or nah?" Brian repeated. Dirt had zoned out again.
"No, no, I'm fine. Thank you, though, you're too sweet to me..."
"I just love you!" Brian exclaimed with a tired smile. Dirt returned it with his own dopey grin before kissing him.
"I love you," Dirt whispered against Brian's lips. "I um..." They backed up, putting distance between their faces. "I wanted to talk to you about something important. That's why I'm here."
"Oh. Sure, what's up?" Brian asked, taking his hands away from Dirt entirely, severing their physical connection, except for where their legs were still pressed together. The mood between the two of them shifted and felt... stale? It felt like they were sharing a box of stale cheeze-itz, but neither of them wanted to acknowledge how gross and stale they were because it was all they had to eat. What??? I dunno, man, that's just how it felt!!! Uncomfortable, but mutually. A woeful and tired acceptance of the discomfort.
Dirt sighed. "I've just been worried, cause like... Y'know.... aaaghhh like... I don't even know how to... ok, I don't mean this to like, accuse you of anything or anything, like this is just my anxiety and I just wanna talk about my thoughts and stuff just so you know. So we're not, like, keeping anything from each other. I wanna be healthy and open with my emotions and stuff."
Brian raised his eyebrows. "...Okaaayyy...?" he said, gesturing for Dirt to get on with it already.
"I'm just worried that you have a problem with like.. the way Salem treats you, or just like, me being in a relationship with him in general, that you're like. Not talking about...."
Brian sighed. "Maaan... What do you mean, like...? You think I don't like Salem?"
"Er, just like! Man, like, he's always flirting with you! And you SAID you're okay with it when he was there, but like.. Is that really true?"
Brian didn't respond right away, so Dirt continued, "Like, you said it's okay because he's just joking around or whatever, but like.. I think he is more serious about it than you think, to be honest with you."
"I...." Brian sighed, "I dunno.... I guess I feel... kinda awkward? When the three of us are together? It's a new situation, y'know, but.. I'll probably get used to it."
"Agghgh, but! If it makes you uncomfortable, then he should stop! Right? Like I should tell him not to hit on you anymore, right, like you shouldn't have to 'get used to' a situation that makes you uncomfortable!" said Dirt, growing increasingly frantic.
Brian sighed and crossed his arms, staring into the distance. He was obviously taking the time to think about what to say, but Dirt had no such scruples, and continued to talk at him. "Like, I'm just really scared that you're not okay with this relationship and that you're just like, sticking it out because you love me, but I don't want you to do that! I want you to be comfortable! Like, if you want we could just not hang out all together? Like just hang out separately? And you could like, pretend he's not even a part of it!"
Brian laughed. "Okay, that's stupid. I'm not gonna pretend you don't have another boyfriend." Dirt laughed nervously in an attempt to mirror Brian, but it was so obvious how anxious he was that it didn't come out how he intended.
"I just don't wanna screw this up, man... Like, I was so worried about even asking you out again because I wasn't sure if I could like.. handle multiple relationships, but like.. I just love you so fucking much and I want this to work so bad, and I'm just really scared that it's not.. working..." Dirt looked down at his hands as he picked at the skin around his fingernails.
"Stop picking," said Brian, and he took Dirt's hands in his own. "Look at me." Dirt looked up, and Brian stared him directly in the eye as he spoke, "I love you. I have been in love with you for... for a while, man, like well before we started goin' out the first time." Dirt smiled a little. "I'm willing to feel a little uncomfy for a little bit while I get used to this situation 'cause I really want this to work, too."
"Mmmm... duuuude..." Dirt squeezed Brian's hands, "That's... aaahhhh.... I just... I just feel like we're not.." Dirt trailed off with a sigh, then started a new sentence: "Okay. Like. How do you feel about Salem? Like. Just. Tell me all your thoughts on him."
"Teh! ALL my thoughts on him? That's a lot, I mean... Sometimes I still have a hard time accepting that he's just a real catboy in real life, like that's still crazy!" Brian and Dirt both laughed together, acknowledging the craziness that was their reality.
Brian looked around as he thought of what to say. "I mean... I know he makes you happy. And that makes ME happy. I think he's... pretty funny! I mean I see why you like him, he's a funny little dude!" Dirt chuckled. "And I'm like, flattered that he's... got some kinda crush on me or somethin'!" Brian laughed, "I guess I don't really know him very well! All I know is that he can turn into a cat and he can roll perfect joints somehow."
Dirt laughed again, "Those are his main characteristics!"
"Haha!! Yeah, I dunno! And I mean like.. I think he's real cute! Like, he's a... a... handsome guy! So like, him flirtin' with me is like.. y'know, like, real flattering, like I already said."
"Heh, why'd you struggle so much to call him handsome?"
"HAH! I mean! I was choosing between a few different words before I settled on handsome."
"What words?" Dirt smirked, raising an eyebrow, suddenly feeling a lot less anxious with the knew knowledge that Brian found Salem to be "cute" and "handsome".
"Ooohhh.... You're makin' me expose myself, huh?"
"Ahuh!" Dirt's smile widened.
"Uhh, 'attractive,' 'pretty,' .... 'sexy...'" Brian tentatively admitted.
"HAHA! Oh, man! If he knew you said that, he'd probably explode!"
"I mean, I'm just sayin', he's conventionally attractive, like objectively! I have eyes, Dirt!" Dirt burst into laughter. "Don't laugh at me!!!" Brian playfully complained, gently pushing Dirt's shoulder.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm kind of laughing at myself, as well, is the thing, like! I was so scared that he made you uncomfortable, and now I come to find out that you think he's hot this whole time and you've been.. what, ENJOYING it??"
"Uhhhahaha..." Brian glanced around the room in a playfully nervous way, as if he were actively looking for a way to change the subject. "Ahaha.. shit, man... Enjoying it? ...." Brian pursed his lips, nodding his head, as his gaze remained fixed on something behind Dirt. "Yeah... I guess that would be the correct way to say it. When you enjoy something."
"PFFTHAHAHA!!! Oh my god!!! Okay, good, so I'm just a big idiot, then!"
Brian clicked his tongue. "What! No, you're not an idiot, I get where you were comin' from, man! This whole thing is... It's new! Y'know?"
"Haha! Yeah, it is.. I guess we'll just.. figure it out as we go?"
Brian smiled, and ran his fingers through Dirt's hair. "Yeah, man."
The couple allowed themselves a moment of silence, where they just gazed at each other. Dirt felt a lot lighter, then. It's funny how realizing I've been an idiot about something can actually feel like a huge relief... Indeed. Dirt didn't have to feel insecure about how the relationship was going anymore. He was comfortable in knowing that Brian wanted this to work out just as much as they did, and that even if things got challenging, that it would be okay. Because they were in love.
"Soooo....." Dirt droned, "Basically you're saying you'd wanna fuck Salem.." he said with a smirk.
Brian scoffed, laughed, and rolled his eyes all at once. "I haven't even fucked YOU yet!" Dirt's face went completely red in a matter of seconds. They chuckled nervously. "YOU'RE SO RED!" Brian laughed, and then held Dirt's face in both his hands.
"Eheh... You..... wanna do that now?" Dirt internally cursed himself for sounding so stupid and awkward, but Brian was charmed by their overwhelming dorkiness, and kissed them.
Dirt had said in the past that sex didn't matter to them, that they only cared about love and romance and shit, but after his many many times with Salem, and a couple of times with Divan, Dirt would be lying if he said he hadn't been craving to take this step with Brian. It's almost like actually having sex changed their perspective on it. Funny how that works.
"To be honest, I thought that's why you wanted to come over in the first place," said Brian, and his tone had changed considerably. His voice was low and gruff, and like.. sensual..
"Eheheh..." Dirt wanted to say something back, like a funny little quip or something, but he just couldn't think of anything in time. He was suddenly feeling shy... It didn't matter how many times he'd had sex with Salem, having sex with someone else for the first time made him revert back to feeling like a virgin again.
Brian got closer to Dirt, piling their legs together unceremoniously. He took their face in his hand, gently caressing their cheek with his thumb before placing a kiss on their lips, soft and sweet. Dirt's hands seemed to move on their own as they wrapped around Brian's torso, and squeezed his sides.
A chuckle escaped Brian's lips before he deepened the kiss, pressing himself against Dirt, sneaking his tongue between their lips. Dirt gasped as he bunched up Brian's shirt in his fists, and pulled him closer. The hand that was on Dirt's cheek traveled down to their shoulder, and pushed them down.
Dirt slid down, laying on his back, resting his head on the arm rest of the couch, as Brian moved to straddle one of his legs. One knee between Dirt's thighs, the other leg hanging off the couch, foot firmly planted on the floor, all the while, keeping their mouths pressed together, their tongues colliding rhythmically with one another.
Brian grinded down on Dirt's thigh, and pulled away from the kiss to let out a shuddering sigh. He looked down at Dirt with a half-smile, and his eyes looked so so tired...
"You look so tired..." Dirt commented, reaching to caress Brian's face.
"Mmm.. I am..." Brian admitted, but was still grinding against Dirt's thigh.
"We.. don't have to do this right now.. I'm tired too... We can wait 'til morning—er—afternoon, I guess. Y'know what I mean.." Dirt suggested.
Brian stopped moving his hips and sighed as he sat up a bit. "Shit..." he said with disappointment as he looked down at Dirt. "Yeah... fuck... Ughhh.. I really want you, though..."
Dirt growled in frustration and squeezed one of Brian's thighs. "Urrghh... I really want you too, dude... but I don't wanna fall asleep mid-fuck!" Dirt chuckled a little.
Brian let out a long sigh as he ran his hands over Dirt's torso and chest over his shirt. "Yeah.... Aight... Let's go to bed.."
"'kay," Dirt half-smiled. He was disappointed, of course, that they had been stopped from having sex AGAIN, but he knew it was going to be okay. He knew—or hoped, at least—that this would be the final delay, though. It sure would be funny if they just kept getting stopped, though, like if literally every time they tried to have sex, something came up. Please don't fucking do that to me. No, they'd probably have sex right after they wake up without any interruptions.
They lazily dragged themselves to Brian's bedroom, and after an amused confirmation that it was obviously okay, Dirt stripped down to his boxers to sleep in, since he was still wearing his work uniform and didn't wanna sleep in that. Brian took his shirt off, too, and the two of them got settled into bed, cuddling up together.
Feeling Brian's bare skin against their own made Dirt's heart soar. He felt like sparks were shooting all up and down his body, warming his soul, and there was a certain buzz in his chest; one of safety and comfort and peacefulness. Brian squeezed him, and he felt like he could cry, feeling so cherished and loved.
"Sweet dreams, baby," Brian said, his voice low, and obviously very tired and weary.
Dirt giggled gayly, and bumped his head against Brian's. "Sweet dreams," he whispered back.
Brian seemed to fall asleep instantly, his soft snoring an indication of his unconsciousness. Dirt sighed quietly, wishing he could just fall asleep on his own so easily... He carefully untangled himself from Brian's grasp, careful not to wake him, so he could lay on his other side. He laid there with his eyes closed, just trying to fall asleep, for what felt like an hour, but was probably more like 10 minutes.
But his mind was racing with all of the other things going on in his life. A conversation with his mom, planning a trip for his little sister and all of the complications that came with that, and he started to worry about Salem, too. He was all alone right now. That made his heart ache. Well, Dirt supposed he had Sarah, but she was probably asleep, and Dirt knew that Salem was probably missing him at that moment. It kept him awake.
He searched his immediate vicinity for his phone, which he had just casually thrown on the bed before laying down. Once he found it he quickly opened his texts and found Salem.
7:02AM
me: im sleeping at brian's btw
me: hes already asleep lol he fell asleep so fast it was crazy
salem: did u fuck???
me: lmaooo no we were too tired. we almost did tho
salem: booooo
salem: that is so sad im so sorry 💔
me: haha its ok we'll fuck when we wake up probably
salem: u better !
me: anyways just wanted to check in w you. and also i cant fall asleep.
salem: well obviously bc u dont have my epic powers to put u to sleep.. sucks for u i guess
salem: i miss u soooo much >:( u go away on a trip and i finally have u back in my arms and then u go sleep somewhere else again -_-
me: aahh i miss u too dude im sorry :(( brian missed me too tho yknow
salem: i knooow i am kind of just teasing u i mean like i want u guys to fuck lol u have to... its fine ur not even that far away i could totally run over there real quick if i wanted
me: haha
me: dont do that
salem: I WONT OMG I WOULDNT DO THAT
me: ...
salem: I WOULDNT!!!!!!! JEEZ!!!!!!
me: lol
salem: lol what ever!!! go to fucking sleep idiot
me: i tried and its too hard :/
salem: well just lay there with ur eyes closed then :/ stop looking at ur damnphone
me: man u dont wanna talk to me?
salem: OF COURSE I DO BUT I WANT U TO GET REST ALSO I FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOU BITCH
me: aww :) hehe ok
me: ill go
me: i love you baby see u later ♥
salem: GRRRR I LOVE YOU!!!!!! ♥♥♥
Dirt smiled as he locked his phone and shoved it under the pillow.